I thought it would be fun and insightful to offer you 10 truths about me in relation to the top 10 things guys lie about in prison…
You will also see that in some cases I am not above the process.
Yes, I too, have told a few lies along my incarcerated journey. But sometimes, you really have to in order to survive.
So here they are for you’re incite and enjoyment…
“10 truths about Joe” ran through in exactly the same order as the top 10 list just posted.
- Being gay was number 10 on the top 10 things guys lie about in prison and how there are a lot of closet homosexuals in prison.
Well, the whole being gay thing doesn’t really apply to me at all. Never have I, nor anyone else for that matter, ever questioned my sexuality.
So I will simply state for the record my views on homosexuality…
I have no view on it.
I’m not for it, nor against it.
I feel people should be left alone to live their life the way they choose to.
If that is your thing, great!
If not, great too.
I’ll say this though.
I appreciate gayness…
Because it makes for some pretty humorous stories, from time to time!
- Being a tough guy.
Yes, unfortunately this is one of the things I have lied about from time to time throughout my incarceration.
In all actuality I’m not much of a tough guy at all. Though I do try to put on this image that I can whoop anybody, take for example a story I just recently posted “The mural painter versus the floor guy.” How that situation could have ended with the floor guy beating my ass all over his shiny floor that I had ruined.
Didn’t read that story…
Well check it out.
I know in my heart that I am not a tough guy. But I am not afraid of getting my ass kicked either. Though in some regards that makes me sort of a tough guy right?
In prison, you have to put on this image of toughness no matter what. Even if at heart you are really built softer then a box of Kleenex.
Weakness is taken advantage of in here…
So even if you do lie about being a tough guy, this should be one instance where this should at least be justifiable.
- What I am locked up for is also something I have lied about pretty much through my entire incarceration. But not in the sense you might think. Nor in the way I spoke of in the original post where other guys might lie in an effort to boost up their charges.
For example, a guy with a possession of crack cocaine charge might lie and say “oh I was selling drugs not using them”
In my case, it is the exact opposite.
I have actually tried to downplay my charges saying that addiction was my real problem and what I am locked up for but in all actuality my charges for why I am in prison are as followed…
Possession with intent to sell cocaine.
Possession of a firearm by a convicted felon.
Possession of a firearm while in possession of cocaine with intent to sell by a convicted felon.
Conspiracy to sell cocaine.
Driving without a license fourth offense.
And resisting arrest.
Jesus…My charges alone makes me seem like I am el chopo gusto.
Ever wonder why I need Joewriteshiswrongs to succeed so bad?
Because who the hell is going to hire me with a record like me. Not unless I lie that is.
- On the original top 10 list, #7 was about snitching and whether or not guys did do that, or who are still doing that in prison.
Well, as for me…
That is something I have NEVER done.
Hell, I can remember all the way back to the night I was arrested being interrogated. Cops said, “Just get us some more coke and you will be done…”
“You might do 18 months.”
You want to know what I did when they said that?
I began crying.
Why? Because I knew I would never cooperate with the police.
Nor ever be a snitch or a rat.
And because of that, I felt like my life was over.
Like I might get 100 years or some shit.
But owning up to the charges and taking full responsibility for everything plus getting my GED before I was even sentenced really insured that I would get one last crack at life.
- Material things are something guys in prison love to lie about.
All the stuff they supposedly had out there in the world.
Yet in here, they are living just as bad as the poorest prisoners.
You wanna know what I had out there…?
Not much of anything.
From age 18 until now (32 years old) I had two different places of my own.
A trailer I was renting to own at 18 that I lost within 3 months and plus an apartment at 25 that I lost in less than 21 days (crazy story for another time).
I have also had 3 crap vehicles that I bought and drove legally.
To really give you an idea of how much I haven’t had out there…
Back in 2008 I came home from my first prison sentence of 18 months and lasted only 10 months before all of this happen. But during that time do you want to know what my most prize possession was…
An old 36 inch box TV. that I bought from my brother for $150.00.
I loved that damn TV.
- Women was #5 and guys in prison love to lie about them in every form or fashion.
Me on the other hand, I don’t ever have to lie about women. Now before this gets to sounding all “cocky” like I will go ahead and nip that by simply stating that getting women hasn’t been much of an issue in my life.
Mainly, my problem has always been that the women I find are always the WORST women who are truly horrible, evil people who absolute drag me through the mud in absolutely every possible way.
I actually have so many stories of so many many many horrible chicks doing so much horrible shit to me, that “horrible chicks doing horrible shit” should actually be its own category on Joewriteshiswrongs.
Check out “The story of crazy chick” and “ An email confession after 12years” for a further look at some of the horrible women who have been in my life.
On the flip side to all of that, I did meet Jen and she is my everything.
- How much money I have is I think the most embarrassing thing ever!
Honestly, the most money I have ever had at one time is something less than $2000.00.
That sounds pitiful.
But that is the truth and this is all about truth here.
Still, you don’t know how bad I really wanted to lie right there and say something like “Oh, I’ve held five or ten thousand before.
But lie I can-not.
- Being a big time drug dealer was #3 on the “Top 10 things guys lie about in prison” and something guys in here really love to do.
Everyone wants to sound like Billy badass in here.
I was a drug dealer and by what I just revealed obviously not a really good one, right?
But that’s something I’m not proud of nor do I try to glorify.
The whole being a drug dealer thing I mean! Not the money part!
One thing I have learned is that there is no honor among thieves.
Probably something like 80% of the guys in prison are snitches and compulsive liars.
The real lesson in all of this is that none of this is cool or “where it’s at.”
- Jobs held and qualifications isn’t something I have ever lied about…
In prison that is… I have lied to a few different women about what kind of work I did when they asked me what I did for a living.
I told this one chick I was a certified diesel mechanic and I worked on big boats when really I was just a laborer in a boat yard.
All my life and throughout the many trades I have worked in, I have always been a laborer.
In prison and in life now I have no problem admitting that.
I’ve got minimal job experience and a variety of job occupations and an expensive criminal record.
Plus when you work as a laborer busting your ass for $9.00 an hour it’s hard to see any real future in that or room for advancement because you can barely survive on what you bring home. The criminal element is always knocking on the door, Like “Hey come back to the dark side…”
“Let’s go make some easy money…
“Fuck that dead end job.”
Try to be a realist in all facets of life and my work history is about as real as it gets.
- The number one thing on the original list that guys lie about most in prison is whether or not they were drug addicts.
For some reason that is something nobody wants to admit.
Well, here is the truth about me…
All my life I have been an addict.
Cocaine and pills have always been my two constant battles.
But the funny thing is back in 2008, before I got locked up I really was selling cocaine.
Not using it.
Now for someone with a cocaine addiction it might not make a lot of sense because wouldn’t I be subject to doing all the drugs and not selling them…
But the reason I didn’t was because the cocaine I was getting at the time was trash.
Cut up and diluted into such a weakened version of the drug to a guy with such a high tolerance level it did nothing for.
The funny thing is that everyone I sold to thought the stuff was awesome.
I’ve got no problem admitting that I have had many battles with addiction…
I’ve even been in quite a few low places in life because of those addictions.
But for once in my life when I was arrested in 2008, addiction had little to do with the circumstances.
I was selling drugs, not really using them, because I couldn’t find a good job to support myself with.
I wasn’t a big time drug dealer.
I’ve never seen any large amounts of money.
I’ve always had women in my life. That has never really been an issue for me.
Probably because I look good…
Or probably because I always lie to them about the kind of work I do.
I’ve never had shit material-wise.
My most prized possession in 2008 was a TV for God sake.
I’ve never snitched.
I’ve only lied a little about what I am locked up for to lessen the defining blow of what all my charges make me sound like.
I’m not a tough guy and I’m not gay.
And now you know…
And that my friends are “10 things about Joe”.