Music and Me

I mentioned a few different times here how important music is to me and how I am also a rapper…

Yet, I never really have gotten to deep into either of those things.

Well, let me tell you a little about me and music.

Music has always been a big part of my life.

At 13 I started playing guitar that was something I became very passionate about.

By 17, I had a horrible band.

We sucked SO bad!

But the point here is music…

Super important to me…

And! I had a band.

Hey! It doesn’t matter if we were good or not!

By 18, my life reached this sort of tippy point.

Hey “The tipping point!”

That is actually the name of a story I had published in a book!

Don’t know what I am talking about…

Well, then. Check out here for the story and here for the cartoon that went with the story.

Sorry.

I was trying to be clever with all of that.

Anyways.

By 18, I started getting in tons of trouble and started going to jail a LOT.

My whole “having a band and playing guitar dreams” sort of started to die at that point.  But music was still super important to me and I didn’t want to let go of that.

So while in jail and at 18 years old I started rapping.

I started writing raps…

Raps about my life…

And how much it sucked.

Real shit that I was going through and that others could relate to as well. And it was like…

Poof!

Walla, magic!

I found this new way to express myself through music and it was something I became super passionate about.

Want to read the first rap that I ever wrote?

Yup, I still remember it to this day.

Have you ever heard the song “Stan” by Eminem?

Well, what I wrote was inspired by that…

You know, how Stan was written in like letter fashion to someone.

That’s how I did mine.

It was written about this chick who broke my heart at 18 while I was still locked up.

I actually haven’t even spoken to this chick since then.

Still, though.

I will leave her name out of this. You know, that way she can’t sue me if I ever do become rich and famous.

So for the sake of this story, we will just call her instead someone who means absolutely nothing to me at all.

I swear…

We will just call her Kristen Crowley.

So here is the first rap I ever wrote…

Dear Kristen Crowley…

Well I don’t know why I love you, cuz you cause me so much pain/

It’s like I’m losing my mind, I think I am going insane/

I try to maintain, but that seems impossible/

I can’t control these feelings, the pains unstoppable/

And I don’t know why I write you, cause you never write me back/

I tried to call you but that numbers blocked, what’s up with that/

Lately I have been stressing and had a panic attack/

I just want to know how you’re doing, is that too much to ask/

Well you know I really love you, and I probably will forever/

I remember you use to tell me, that we’d always be together/

Well I hope you read this letter, and I hope that you’re okay/

I really need to hear from you, this is Jay…

Tada that’s it…

So, what do you think?

Yeah…?

No..?

Hey it’s ok if you think it sucks. It was my first attempt at rap, it was written a long time ago.

I think I have come a long was since then too.

Now days, when I write, I try to leave an impact crater like a métier strike. On the planet when I let people know what I have to say.

Hopefully I have a similar kind of impact on you as I start incorporating more of my raps here on Joewroteshiswrongs.

From 18 till just recently, the only way I have been able to express myself musically is through rap.

As far as the little bit of my adult life that hasn’t been spent locked up goes- and me perusing anything with my music during THAT time…

I really haven’t done too much.

I mean, I have tried to be serious about a music career, but I just never lasted long enough in the free world to do much with that at all.

I can remember checking out different Myspace pages of people who made beats that I liked at the time and trying to put together songs off of the samples they offered.

I even remember getting on stage during Karaoke one night at the bar and rapping something I wrote to a 2Pac beat.

Other than that, I haven’t done much at all. Until recently, that is…

Maybe within the last year throughout while I have been at this prison, I have been playing around with the band.

Oh by the way…

This prison sucks. But one of the few good things they do have here is a ton of band equipment. And my mural painting job gives me all the perks and benefits of being able to do pretty much whatever the hell I want around here.

Plus, my boss is in charge of all of the band stuff…

Plus, all the band members are friends of mine…

So, it is because of all of this I have been playing guitar again for about the last year.

And what is better than an awesome guy like myself who can rap?

Well, an awesome guy like myself who can rap and also play the guitar at the same time!

So, that is what I have been doing…

Rapping while playing guitar and making up songs about any and everything usually just stupid shit, to make people laugh. But I have also been putting some of my real raps to a guitar melody as well.

So, who knows what the future holds for me musically….

Maybe something.

Maybe nothing.

Whatever the case, I love music.

But I also love a lot of other stuff to…

Like Kristen Crawly.

Don’t have any idea what I am talking about there…?

Well then check out “Eat it or starve”.

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Song I wrote “Changed Man”

Hey remember when I told you all I was a rapper…

Then I never really rapped anything for you to showcase my talent…

Well check this out.

Here is a song I wrote a couple of years ago and it really fits in with the topic of the week.

The song is called “changed man” and just reading the lyrics, I hope you can get a better sense of what I seen before and am sure to see again after coming home after years spent in prison.

So here it is….

The song I wrote called “Changed Man”.

Well I tried to find a job but no one would hire me/

Because every application asked about a prior felony/

I tried to tell the truth, I didn’t wanna lie/

In “yes” please explain, the man just looks at me a sighs/

It says here that you’re a felon, and you served a little time/

Well if that is the case I’m sorry son, but we ain’t hiren/

I said Sir I’ve served my time and I deserve another chance/

He said I’m sure you do son, so good luck with that/

You know change, it doesn’t come easy/

I lost so much of my life I’ll never get to repeat/

I felt I lost it all and after 7 years believe me/

I‘m a changed man oh my god yes I am/

I’m a chan__ged man__/

Can you give me a chance/

Just give me a chance/

Cause I’m a chan__ged  man__/

Can you give me a chance/

Just give me a chance/

Well I’ve found a job and then I met a girl/

She said you need to meet my family I’m still adjusting to the world/

Her daddy looked at me and he ain’t liked what he seen/

Cause his daughter was going crazy for a fucker like me/

He said all those tattoo’s I can tell you been to prison/

I said sir I’ve lived a rough life but that’s no longer how I livin/

Time can change a person if that’s really how you wanna live/

He said you still look like a felon so what’s it done for you/

You know change, it doesn’t come easy/

I lost so much of my life I’ll never get to repeat/

I felt I lost it all and after 7 years believe me/

I‘m a changed man oh my god yes I am/

I’m a chan__ged man__/

Can you give me a chance/

Just give me a chance/

Cause I’m a chan__ged  man__/

Can you give me a chance/

Just give me a chance/

I wanna live a good life, I’m so tired of the wrong way/

And I’m never going back, I ain’t never going back/

I wanna live a good life, I’m so tired of the wrong way/

And I’m never going back, I ain’t never going back/

You know change, it doesn’t come easy/

I lost so much of my life I’ll never get to repeat/

I felt I lost it all and after 7 years believe me/

I‘m a changed man oh my god yes I am/

I’m a chan__ged man__/

Can you give me a chance/

Just give me a chance/

Cause I’m a chan__ged  man__/

Can you give me a chance/

Just give me a chance/

And that’s it!

A song I wrote years ago that ties in perfectly to the topic of the week “Will I make it or will I fail”.

And you know…

I’m still kinda thinking of rapping/singing this thing, and having that recorded, and posting that up here  but that’s all still up in the air.

What I am listening to Write now… T.I. (Ft Eminem) “That’s All She Wrote”Songs

From the first time you here this song, the beat lets you know this song is gonna be awesome. Then add T.I. and Eminem going back and forth killing it! Two of the greatest lyricist in the rap game right now.. This song motivates me on a completely different level!

I hear T.I. start his first verse  “It’s stupid how I go in knowing  everybody knowing  that I’m sewing up the game, destroying life they hate me for it- eventually, see that can’t beat,  then with me they join/ others sworn under oath or banished left completely scorn/ you tell lies, get caught,  nigga kick rocks/ you never did blend in with the big shots.”

T.I. and Eminem are geniuses on this song! And when I hear their murderously play on words over this up tempo beat… I think about how far I have come through all of this…

From the bottom I have risen, even if only just a little. But so much more than most in the same situation then me.

I think about all that I have overcome to get to where I am now… To have what I now have. And I laugh thinking about all who hate on that.

When you have good shit, there is always going to be someone there to hate because they don’t have what you have…

Laugh that shit off.

But at the same time never undermine the length to which a hater might go to either take for themselves to what you have or just all around fuck it up for you. T.I’s last verse says it perfectly… “And on my throne I remain,  all alone in my lane/ I ‘m as strong as they came-/they were gone ‘fore they came/ now I don’t wanna hang, I slap fire with them rap guys/ They just wanna sabatoge my hustle Shawty that’s why…

This type of song is big time motivation for a guy with even bigger dreams. I hear this and remember I’ve got to stay focused.

We have all got to stay focused.

How important music is…

In prison, music is a way a lot of guys in here cope and get through the time. Especially me. Music can pull you through some of the hardest times. Something I know quite well from personal experiences. But it can also be motivational…

Before a big soccer game or a tough workout I will put the headphones on and just “turn up”!

Or if I am working on some cartoons, a caricature, or a painting, I’ll vibe out and let the music put me “in the zone”.

I listen to everything now, which is saying a lot because when I was younger, like back in my teens, it was mostly all rock. Hell, I was even playing guitar back then and trying to start a band.

Then when I turned 18 and getting into trouble and getting locked up, I started rapping.

Rap took over my life and did so for a bunch of years. But as I got older I started liking everything…rap, rock, country…

Now I am like a musical contisor.

I’m always looking for something new to add to the variety of Joewriteshiswrongs and things that can be used to keep this blog fresh and interesting.

Well…I think I have hit pay dirt!

From time to time (how often, who knows) I will be posting “what I am listening to write now”.

Isn’t that so clever… the whole “write” now.

You don’t have to say it… oh wait… what? You did?

Genius. I know.

From time to time I will be posting “What I’m listing to write now”. I’ll post a song and by whatever artist, then tell you why I am listing to it right then. It can be an older song… or it can be a newer one. I will also include a link so that you can check out the song if you like and also and let me know what you think about it.

Does it reach you like it reaches me? Do you like it?

Do you hate it?

I think this might offer all of you a little more insight behind the lines of the mayhem here. Like if I post some crazy head banger shit, you might think “ok wow his day must really suck”.

Or if I post something by Taylor Swift you might think “oh wow this guy is a real douche bag”.

By the way…

I will never post anything by Taylor Swift… Enjoy!