Another gone too soon

Unbelievable…I mean that is all I really can say. Another guy who had the whole world ahead of him who just recently went home from this prison died.

Another guy who battled addiction is gone from this world far too soon. Another guy I knew and delt with on a daily basis is dead far too young.

RIP Faris Nassar!

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You will never be forgotten my friend

Still saddened by the death of a good friend who died far too young. Justin made a hell of an impact on all of the people he met here at Indian Creek. His death has opened a lot of eyes as to just how precious life is…

My eyes have certainly been opened a lot more…

To his family, I offer my deepest condolences.

I want you to know that Justin was a very liked individual here.

People liked him a lot.

He was kind of hard not to like.

Since this tragic incident, me, myself, and countless others have kept his memory alive by sharing with those who didn’t know him just how awesome of a person Justin Hobbs really was.

To my friend… It really sucks your gone.

But through me and all I hope to achieve…

Your memory will live on.

RIP Justin Hobbs

I want all of you to get to know a good friend of mine who just passed away on Sunday.

Hello world…

Meet Justin Hobbs.

Justin and I went to school together and we were good friends. But somehow we lost contact.

I guess life just has a way of causing people to go their separate ways sometimes.

For as long as I can remember Justin has always been a likable funny guy. And when I ran into him again after so many years had passed and here in prison, he seemed not to have changed much at all.

He was still that funny likable character.

Hobbs could make anyone laugh.

When I first got transferred to this compound I had a lot of trouble accepting the fact that I would now be required to group all the time.

But it was Hobbs who helped me adjust.

He made the groups fun because we would laugh and joke through the stupidity of it all.

The stupidity of all that this place represents…

A prison that was considered a therapeutic community…

A behavior modification or a behavioral corrections program…

Well, what the fuck, did this place do to help my friend?

I remember times when Hobbs and I would be together and I watched as he interacted with people.

Anyone.

Other prisoners.

Even asshole CO’s…

He just really had this way about himself.

He could really reach people through his light hearted humor…

That was a great quality of Hobbs that I really admired.

Justin Hobbs really had a way of making people like him without even really trying.

There were times when he even helped me on a few mural painting projects especially ones where I needed scaffolding where I needed to reach these hard to reach places in the housing units.

On some of those projects we would have to wheel the scaffolding into the hostile territory of some asshole prisoner’s bunk.

I can remember a time or two where it was Hobbs cleaver wit that made the situation more tolerable for all parties involved.

He just really had a special way about it I guess.

Sometimes we would kick it in the gym…

Him with the guitar or bass, strumming or slapping away, I can’t emphasize to you enough just how talented as a musician Hobbs was.

He had too much potential to do so much.

He could have done anything.

He wasn’t just a funny light hearted guy either he had a very serious side too; there was nothing he took more serious than his relationship with his little girl.

There were many times I would see him in visitation with his daughter and the two of them were always so happy together.

Nothing, it seemed, made him happier then the relationship he shared with her.

His daughter was his whole world.

Hobbs talked about her all the time and how all he wanted to do was go home and be a great father.

But he also told me many times how scared he was to get released because of the demons of his past and it would surly always haunt him.

Addiction was the greatest of those demons.

I’m not entirely sure what happen to my friend. I can only assume that I do know though. And if addiction in fact played a part in his death though, then that only saddens me even more and makes me feel a little more hopeless and helpless in my own damn life.

What fucks with me the most is this…

Hobbs and I had just talked via Facebook a month ago where I asked him how he was doing out there.

He told me he was doing good…

But not great.

I didn’t think anything of it at the time. But now I think maybe I should have.

Maybe I should have paid more attention to his exact words.

Maybe that would have caused me to do something differently.

Something more.

But, really…

What could I have done?

You never really know what someone is going through…

What kind of wars they got raging against themselves.

And what kind of demons they are battling unless they tell you or you are there to see it for yourself first hand.

I hate the fact that my friend is gone.

He was only 32 years old.

I’m 32 years old.

Hobbs was too damn young to die.

And as tragic as all of this is I’ve got to believe that his death isn’t in vein.

Not to me it isnt.

It’s opened my eyes to just how precious life really is. ..

And sometimes how short it can be too.

And how I can’t for the life of me aford to take for granted not a single moment of my own.

When the light quickly fades to black

Today should have been a good day.

Hell, it should have been a great day!

Hey guess what everyone..?

I did my last annual review today and I got all of whatever good time I could get back today.

So that’s it.

Pretty uneventful.

No real story to tell about on that.

I don’t know what my new release date is. But I will find out sometime in the next 30-90 days.

I should be happy about this right?!?

I should be ecstatic!

And I was…

That was until I came back to my housing unit and someone came up to me and said “Hey, do you remember Hobbs?”

Oh fuck no, I thought.

Anytime someone comes up to you in prison or starts off a conversation with “hey do you remember such and such” and that person was someone who was just recently release from prison, you know it’s not going to be good whatever they have to say.

“Did I remember Hobbs” this guy asked me.

Of course I remembered Hobbs!

He was one of the first people I ran into when I got transferred to this prison.

I knew him from my life long before prison when we were a lot younger and in high school.

I went to school with Hobbs.

And when I got transferred here, we quickly became friends again. He even introduced me to a girl I use to write when I first got here and before I met Jen.

Hobbs was a friend.

“Hobbs died.” This guy told me.

My whole day went black.

Just when it seemed the clouds were starting to part a little in my world right when the sun started to show rays of light through the darkness…

I hear something like this and all of the light that was just starting to return fades to black.

I’ve said before, not even that long ago actually how hearing shit like this about guys who get out and don’t make it…

Makes me sort of feel like I don’t even stand a chance.

This one hits a special place to home because Hobbs wasn’t just someone I knew from here…

He was a friend.

A friend who will truly be missed.

“Damn it Hobbs”

I remember when you got that tattoo on your back that said “conquer your demons…”

I guess some demons you fight for a lifetime.

I’m gonna spend some time telling you all about my friend Hobbs. It’s unfortunate but I think he was only mentioned in one story here on Joewriteshiswrongs that I can think of right this second…

“The Crazy Chick” where he was referred to as “slaps-the-bass” for just how musically gifted he was.

In honor of Hobbs I’m going to introduce him to all of you over the next few days…

He was a star that shined…

A really good guy who would have done anything to help a friend.

RIP Justin Hobbs… May you rest in peace friend!

Below you will find a video made for Justin’s daughter by his family…a way she can always remember her father who was taken too soon.

Another star gone too soon and depression

Today is a day that sort of comes out of nowhere… a day where I wanted to tell all of you about my awesome soccer game, how well I played, how I scored three goals in the first half alone, how I shined and also coached my team to a 5-0 victory. But all of that is irrelevant when the top headline across the nation is so tragic…

Another great actor gone too soon.

Robin Williams.

It is unbelievable to think that such a man, an actor who played so many roles in so many movies is gone.

I grew up watching Robin Williams…

I’m sure many of us did as well.

From Mork and Mindy to Good Morning Vietnam, Aladdin to Mrs. Doubtfire, even last season’s # 1 new comedy The Crazy Ones.

This man was a comic genius.

An immense success.

It’s hard not to admire such a life.

If any comfort can be found in all of this, it should come from knowing that Robin Williams legacy will forever live on.

The news said that Robin Williams had been battling depression for a few years now.

Personally, I know how tough that can be.

Especially while being incarcerated.

Depression is a lot like being in prison too. Your mind confides you to the lowest form of thinking.

Absolute negativity.

Self-esteem becomes diminished.

You become a prisoner to your own self.

That is enough to take a toll on anyone.  Even someone so great who will leave such an impact on this world.

If ever you’re depressed or find yourself becoming your own worst enemy, you must do whatever it takes to break the chains that confined you to that miserable way of thinking.

Talk to someone. If you can’t… then exercise.

If you can’t, then do it anyways.

Force yourself into any form of physical activity and do it until utter exhaustion.

I promise that will help.  Even if only just a little. Though, I truly believe it will help a lot more than that.

Write down all that ales you…

Why are you sad?

Why are you depressed?

What could change that? Write that down too.

Sometimes for me it is simple… Why am I sad?

Because I am in prison.

What could change that?

If I wasn’t in prison.

If there is nothing you can do at the immediate moment to change whatever it is that saddens you, then do whatever you can to make the most of what it is.

Look for whatever you have that is good.

What do you have that is great?

Lean on what good while you also work hard to make life better for yourself. Because in the grand scheme of things…

We will never stop being depressed until we decide we are not going to be depressed anymore.

R.I.P. Robin Williams.

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