”incarcerated incest… brother sister boyfriend girlfriend”

So I told you before how there’s this guy I’m locked up with who is dating his own flesh and blood sister…

well, folks… its time for you to meet ”wowder.”

Of course this isn’t his real name or even his real nickname for that matter.

But, its close.

Very close.

I felt I had to protect this guys real identity. And plus, ”wowder” is a way better nickname…

you know, like wow-der is actually a guy here in prison who is dating his own flesh and blood sister..!

There’s another funny little tidbit to add to all this as well…

actually a first for me in fact…

one day, I was sitting here drawing a cartoon about this guy when he walked right up on me as I was drawing it..!

Something like that has never happened before..!

When I go to draw a cartoon about someone, I like to make sure that person isn’t around. Especially if the cartoon could cause us to be fighting immediately.

This was one of those such occasions and cartoons.

Here’s how that went down…

before I started drawing, I looked around the housing unit to find out where this disgusting specimen of human life was at.

oh… there he was.

On the phone, as usual…

talking to his sister girlfriend.

“Great”, I thought.

I then began work on putting together my masterpiece.

But, as what usually happens when drawing, I quickly got lost in the moment.

I soon became focused solely on what I was creating…

That’s very bad, Joey.

Something someone would likely say to me.

And yep…

it most certainly was because out of nowhere came this incestuous bastard right over my shoulder..!

”What’s up, man..?” wowder said to me as he sat down in the chair right in front of mine.

”Oh, not much..!” I said in response as I balled up my little Picasso like creation. I was pained by the very fact I had to do so. Yet, I didn’t know what else to do at that moment.

I then tossed the rumpled, ruined cartoon aside and said ”what’s up with you..?”

Someone asked me why I balled up the cartoon in the first place and the reason is simply because there was no denying the fact of who or what this cartoon depicted.

It was bad.

Right to the point also…

and kind of funny too.

Oh, and right now, its en route to Matt soon to be posted here on ‘Joewriteshiswrongs’..!

A rumpled, ruined mess for your enjoyment.

But all of this is just a footnote of sorts to the main premise of what this post is all about.

I mean, ‘hello…’

there is a guy here who is DATING is very own flesh and blood SISTER..!

Maybe you wonder how this could be…

or how all this came about…

well, here’s the hypothesis me and my homeboy put together based on some known facts…

first) the sister just spent 7 years in prison.

When she got out about 14 months ago she contacted her long lost and estranged half brother who is and was also in prison.

Well, wowder is a pretty lonely guy i’m sure at the time… probably hasn’t had a lot in the form of female companionship throughout the course of his life… and most certainly not while in prison either… so because of that is it really that hard to imagine that a guy like this COULD fall in love with his sister..?



Then maybe because the sister is just as fucked up in the head or maybe even more than wowder is… she also thinks there is nothing wrong with being boyfriend and girlfriend while also at the same time being brother and sister…


a disgusting romance blossoms.

Wowder has even since TATTOOED sis’s name on his hand so now they are bonded for life in another way besides blood.

Pretty crazy right..?

Well, if you think so then allow me to add to that…

lets end on a high here shall we..?

Let me tell you something pretty disturbing I overheard wowder say one day while on the phone…

he was on the phone right next to me and he was obviously arguing with his sister girlfriend when he said the craziest damn thing…

he said ”you can’t leave me, we’re family..!”

wow, right..?

Oh and by the way if that isn’t enough by itself…

wowder is sort of like my life coach…

he gives me some pretty great relationship advice.

kind of ironic isn’t it.


Walking in on a rape…continued


When Tyler was drunk at a party and he walked in the room to see his best friend; a girl he had grown up with passed out on a bed with some guy all over her trying to take her pants off- he snapped.

He told me he grabbed this guy and tore him off of his best friend. He said he threw the guy into a wall and began to beat the life out of him.

He didn’t stop until he was literally pulled off this guy by some of his friends who were also at the party. By that time, everyone thought he had killed the “would be rapist”

The guy was motionless and gurgling blood from his mouth.

Tyler’s friend told him to get the hell out of there. They told him how they thought he has just killed this guy and the cops were on their way.

Tyler ran, bloody and drunk.

When he got down the street Tyler told me he tried to call someone to come pick him up. But he hands were so damaged from the fight he couldn’t hardly hold his phone. Or dial any numbers,

By that point, the cops showed up. Tyler said there was no point in running. He was bloody and his hands were a wreck. He was caught.

The cops walked up to Tyler asking him what had happen. While trying to explain, Tyler was running high on adrenaline and alcohol.

As he tried to tell the cops everything that had just taken place, spit was flying from his mouth.

Tyler said he accidently spit on the cop.

Doing so, the cop grabbed him by his throat and tried to slam him against the cop car.

Tyler an Army soldier encounters the attack.

He instead slammed the cop and drew back to swing. Soon as he did, the other cops who were on the scene pounced on him immediately.

Tyler was beaten up on the spot.

After the beating, Tyler was taken to jail. He was strapped into a restraint chair and beaten some more.

Tyler said he was left strapped in the restrain chair for 10 hours.

When the Army showed up to pick Tyler up with a possible court Marshall he faced, they went ballistic as to how he had already been treated.

Once handed over to the Army and all the facts had been considered, no charges were filed against Tyler.

They said they were not going to press charges against a man who had committed a noble act.

Tyler was then handed back over to the state who didn’t share the same views of that of the army.

The state filled charges against Tyler for malicious wounding and attempted murder.

The guy who had tried to rape Tyler’s friend lived through the assault. But he had suffered immense injuries because of it.

He was completely paralyzed on the left side of his body.

Injuries this guy would most likely carry with him for the rest of his life.

During the trial many character witnesses took the stand in Tyler’s defense.  Everyone spoke highly of this young man who had never been in trouble with the law before and had already made so much with his life.

Even the girl, Tyler’s best friend who was passed out at the party took the stand to say how Tyler had saved her from potentially being rapped.

But for whatever the reason the judge paid no attention to any of this. Instead he focused it solely on the injuries to this would be rapist…

How this guy will probably have to use a cane the rest of his life.

The judge told Tyler that he would not tolerate vigilantly justice and that Tyler displayed no regards to human life evident by the extent of the injuries suffered by what he called the victim.

Tyler was sentenced to 31 years with 17 suspended.

He was looking to serve about 12 years. And that was it. Case closed.

Tyler appealed his conviction and eventually got in front of another judge who had a different view and that judge converted his entire sentence to the youth offender program here at the prison I am at.

He is scheduled to be released early next year.

As for the would be rapist…

He was charged with attempted rape and received a sentence of 12 months.

All time suspended.

And being that his charge was sexually related, he should have had to register as a sex offender for the rest of his life. But the judge, the same one who felt Tyler deserved to serve 12 of 31 years, felt, that the extent of his injuries were punishment enough.

So he never served or would have to register as a sex offender.

In closing, when asked if doing it differently if he could do it all again…

Tyler said “ Hell No”.

“That guy got what he deserved”.

What do you think about all of this?

Do you agree with Tyler’s sentencing?

Do you think it was too harsh or to lenient?

What about the would be rapist and what he received?

Comment and share your take on all of this.

Walking in on a rape


Tyler is a young guy here at the prison with me. He is 21 years old. He has been locked up since he was 18. He is what this program considers a youth offender. I have known Tyler throughout the two years I have been at this facility; he is the drummer in the prison band.

I never really knew much about Tyler’s story until the other day. And when he told me all about his background and why he’s locked up I was blown away. So much so that I have to tell you all about it.

Tyler represents everything that is right with the world and his story represents everything that is wrong with the judicial system here in America.

Here is his story…

From the age of 15 Tyler told me how he had been involved in the medical field. EMT work to be specific. Maybe when he was that young he did some volunteer work or maybe he had some family connections that allowed him to be involved in that sort of thing so young. Whatever the case is, that’s what he told me.

Then he said at the age of 18 he joined the Army. When I asked if he was like “Saving Private Ryan” he said “ No”.

“More like Ashton Kutcher in the Guardian” he responded. “Only like the army version of that.”

When I asked if he saw any action, he said “not really”.

“Mostly only training” he said.

He did say he was involved in one rescue action overseas, but I don’t remember what all he said about that.

Tyler told me that he came home from somewhere and he went to a party.

At this party he said he got drunk.

Really drunk.

Then he said he walked in to a room where he saw his best friend which was this girl he had grown up with since they were kids.

She was passed out on the bed and this guy was all over her trying to take her pants off.

Immediately Tyler said he lost it.

Now before I finish this story I want you to consider this…

What if this was you?

You’re at a party, drunk, having a good time, and all of a sudden you see a girl you grew up with passed out and some guy all over her potentially about to rape her…

What would you do in that exact moment?

What do you think Tyler did…?

Comment now and voice your opinion… And check back later today to find out what happens next.

Dumbing down the Conversation


Originally posted Feb 27, 2014

As I normally do in prison, I was doing something I wasn’t normally supposed to be doing in prison. No, you sick-minded individuals, nothing like THAT.

It was something minor.

Something trivial.

I was talking during count.

We’re not supposed to talk during count.

But, I was in the middle of a deep intellectual conversation about the theory and evolution of life and…

Ok. You caught me.

I was not.

I was probably talking about NOTHING of any REAL importance or value.

Still, the conversation ensued.

Until, that is, a correctional officer came over to where I was standing.

“Why are you talking during count?” He fumed.

He appeared to be quite pissed by my blatant disregard for protocol. So I thought it best to take the ‘chicken-shit’ alternative to formulating a response, and do the next best thing.

I said nothing.

Where is your I.D. at? He seethed through clenched teeth.

His face so close to mine that I could feel ‘spittle’ ricocheting off my cheek.

When asked by an officer to produce your state issued Department of Corrections identification card, usually is a clear indication that a disciplinary infraction is imminent.

So, I then began flailing wildly in an attempt to save myself.

“Well, kind sir.” I began. “First allow me to compliment you on your wonderful detective skills. As for my I.D., I do not have that at this present moment. Just as I was doing something I shouldn’t be doing…talking during count…my I.D. is also being used in a manner that could result in a disciplinary infraction, as well.

Now, it was the officer who said nothing.

He just stared blankly at me.

“You see,” I continued. “My I.D. is currently being used as a tag for the phone. I’m sure an inelegant man of your stature can easily well-imagine that if something is not placed on the phones to secure position, then once count is cleared, absolute madness would commence behind who is to use the phones first.”

The officer looked perplexed by my explanation.


Then, a light bulb clicked on inside my head.

Obviously this officer is a complete moron, Joe. I thought to myself.

He didn’t understand conversation of even the remotely intellectual kind.

So, I had to dumb it down a little.

“Oh, you WANT my I.D.?” I said.

“It’s on the phone.” I concluded.

The language barrier had been bridged.

Understanding registered for the first time on his face.


Then hulked off perturbed as I realized I had just learned an important lesson.

Sometimes…you can beat a dumb person just simply by using big words.

So of course, I stretched a few truths in telling this story for entertainment purposes. Had I in fact said most of what I did the way I said it in the story, there is no question that I would be sitting my asinine little self right in the hole bout now.

Still, I hope you enjoyed this little tale. It might not be completely true, but one thing is… Some guards here are dumber dan a mudda fucka.

Spice… makes a guy cluck like a chicken in prison


With all that I have been talking about lately…

Guys getting out of prison and not making it…

How scared to death I am of falling into that category myself…

All of this would not be complete, if I don’t first tell you about this guy nicknamed “Solo”.

Solos story is one that really drives home the point that for most incarcerated there is not a snowballs chance in hell of making it outside of these prison walls.

Here is his story…

Solo is just your average prisoner.

A guy content with getting through the time he must spend in prison like so many others…

Doing nothing really.

No real plan or purpose.

Just biding his time waiting to go home and do whatever.

Like most prisoners, myself included, Solo gets in trouble from time to time. Maybe even a little more than most. But, Solo finally thought he had got his act together.

He had completed a program here at this prison called “thinking for a change” and maybe that caused him to “think” a little…

Maybe he thought about the fact that he only had 50 something days left till he went home.

Solo got up during one of the groups that we must participate in here at the prison and announced that he had changed his ways…

That he was turning over a new leaf and he was confident that this time he was going to make it.

His “changed ways” lasted all of about 1 hour.

What happen? You might wonder.

Well, after group ended his friend came up to him and asked if he wanted to get high.

Solo, fully aware of the rumors all over the prison about some bad drugs floating around, said “okay”.

“Let’s go get high”.

When others heard what he was going to do, they tried to warn him.

But Solos response verbatim “ I don’t care…I want to cluck like a chicken”.

His exact words, I swear.

So Solo and his friend got high.

Immediately afterwards Solo began to flip out.

He went crazy…

And right in front of a correctional officer at that.

He started swinging wildly at the guard saying “I’m a ninja!! I’m a ninja!!”

The guard backed up, trying to figure out what the hell was going on. But in the midst of all this, Solo grazed the guards ID badge flipping it up with an upper cut.

At that point, the guard began fighting with Solo who was now fighting or at least attempting to fight the guard.

Crazed, and out of his mind on drugs, Solo was subdued to say the least and could now face and assault on staff charge that carries an additional 5 years and an immediate transfer to a level 5 facility.

Again, I say…He had 50 something days left until his release.

If he was looking to (cluck like a chicken), I’m guessing that is exactly what he did.

A lot of guys here don’t stand a chance out there in the world…

Hell, some guys can’t even make it out there to the free world before they mess up again.

Some jobs you just have to quit…The follow up

So what if I said I was wrong in my justifications for quitting the floor job in the gym…

I mean, is it okay to post something and then come back a couple of days later, and say I was wrong about all that.

Wait a minute…

This is JoeWritesHIsWrongs after all…

So of course that should be okay…

I mean I been wrong pretty much my whole life…!

Well, prior to me actually trying to get my shit together, that is.

It should come as no surprise that I’m not always gonna get it right, even at this point in my life.

So, without further ado, please allow me to say…

I fucked up.

I was wrong for quitting the job in the gym redoing the floors.

I basically just let the frustration of a slow and rigorous ass fucking job get the best of me and I decided at that time the best thing to do would be to quit.

My justifications were that this job would benefit me in no way and also that I had other shit way more important to do.

Number 1 on that list…

A crowd funding campaign that had just been launched the day before and I was (and still am) very concerned with whether or not that damn thing is going to be successful.

Well, in an effort to save face and not feel like the quitter I was feeling like…

I went back to the gym, apologized for up and quitting the way I did, and got back to working on that project.

Funny thing about it is that there are not much further along than from when I quit.

But it is humbling, to say the least, having admitted I was wrong.

Just being able to do so show’s a lot of growth on my part. I mean, I use to be pretty stubborn, and at times, I guess I still can be.

But who is perfect?

The whole point of the matter is that I was wrong about something and I made a mistake because of that.

But I did what needed to be done to fix it.

In life, we are not always going to get it right all of the time.

But what matters most is that when you are wrong and you realized that you do what you have to in an effort to make it right.

Oh, and by the way…

Is this NOT like the greatest example of Joe-Writing His Wrongs?

Serial Killer gets fooled again-twice

So you remember the serial killer right? From the story “Valentine’s Day for a Serial Killer”.

Well, I never thought someone could be so dumb to fall for the same prank not once but two more times after that.

Here is how it went down…

First, Serial Killer is obsessed with his ex and he will talk about her to anyone who will listen.

Well, in doing so, he divulges a lot of useful information to these pranksters who might be plotting against him.

Well it just so happen there were two would be prankster and they ended up being the only two friends of the Serial Killer…

CoffeeMan and a guy named Wineset.

These two had a plan and it was to rip Serial Killers heart right from his chest…for their own enjoyment and amusement.

Serial Killer had mentioned to his only two friends how he wrote to his niece in an effort to find information on what was going on with his ex.

I guess in the letter he had asked his niece to look up this chick on Facebook and then send her a message telling her how he missed her and loved her and yadda yadda yadda.

Well, being the evil little pieces of shit CoffeeMan and Wineset are- light bulbs went off in there sadistic little minds.

Maybe it was because they were reminded of how easily gotten Serial Killer had been on Valentine’s Day that the two quickly began writing ideas and bullet points to include a counterfeit letter from his niece.

Once completed, the-oh so critical finishing touches were put into creating an envelope that had looked like it had been delivered to the prison through the mail and then ransacked through in the mailroom.

Mail came and CoffeeMan brought the letter over to Serial Killer saying “ Didn’t you hear them call your name? You got a letter” CoffeeMan continued.

Serial Killer took the letter a little too eagerly and saw it was from his niece.

Never once did it seem to cross his mind that the letter could be a fake not even after he had just been heinously pranked a short time ago on Valentine’s Day.

And not even after he had just received a REAL letter from his niece just the day before.  And all those who knew about the prank or were in on it eagerly awaited his reaction.

But no reaction came when he was done reading it.

So CoffeeMan and his partner in crime went over to try and pry one out of him.

“What did the letter say?” CoffeeMan asked.

“Not much.” Serial Killer said. Then he gave out some useless tidbits as he beat around the bush not really wanting to divulge what the letter said about his ex.

Then, after a little more crowbar like prying, Serial Killer completely deflated finally said “She’s with a black man.”

Serial Killer seemed to be absolutely crushed by this information.

And that was about the gist of it.

The fake letter from his niece did nothing other than fake inform Serial Killer that his ex was now with a black man.

Serial Killer seemed to have no wind left in his sails because of this. Yet on the other hand CoffeeMan and Wineset were fuelled to the max and only just getting started…

One little devastating blow…

Cause by Coffeeman and Wineset…

About an estranged ex..

How she was supposedly now with a black man-had caused damage and jeopardized the structural integrity of Serial Killer’s entire being.

It seemed as if the Gods had spoken…

Like CoffeeMan and Wineset now knew what their destiny was.

What their purpose on this planet was.

They both now knew what they had to do.

They had to write a fake letter from the ex…

A letter so far over the top…

So horrible…

That this could only be considered the crème de la crème of terrible shit you could do to someone.

They started with a little brainstorming…

Bouncing ideas back and forth of possible things they could tell Serial Killer possibly adding to what the fake letter from the niece had said.

After they had what they thought would be the top bullet points of destruction…

They wrote the letter.

When they were done the two knew what the fake letter from the niece had to say.

When they were done they created another envelope…

Putting into it the same attention to detail as they had the first one.

And again at mail call, CoffeeMan took Serial Killer an atomic bomb of fake words so his ex would guarantee Hiroshima type results.

Everyone watched in suspense as Serial Killer read the fake letter, his face a rubix cube of contortion from a hail storm of relentless hellfire bestowed upon him in the form of fake damning information.

The results of which can only best be resulted up best from Johnny aka the “Panty Bandit”…

It was after all this and how Serial Killer looked like he might at any moment kill himself that CoffeeMan had a change in his black-heart.

He told Serial Killer that the letter from his ex and the previous one from the niece were both fakes.

Oh what a relief this was to the Serial Killer.

Thank God too…!

Especially, how he had just read a supposed letter from his ex that said she was indeed dating a black man…

How she wanted to get her tubes untied so she could have a baby with him…

How she had hated Serial Killer…

Probably never even really loving him at all…

And how she just knew she loved the new guy when they broke the headboard together on the bed…

The letter said Serial Killer could never measure up to the new guy and how he too had just gotten locked up and was on his way to the prison Serial Killer was at…

The letter said the new guy was looking for Serial Killer too…

It ended with something like don’t worry about her…

She’s fine…

The new guys brothers and cousins are taking REALLY good care of her.

It’s easy to see how all of this could be detrimental to the state of mind for anyone receiving a letter of this magnitude.

CoffeeMan and Wineset are playing a dangerous game that could have serious ramifications.

Especially, after what they are thinking about doing to the next guy they set their sights on…

They are thinking about writing a letter to this guy and telling him his whole family has died.

Some jobs you just have to quit

As I write this I’m knee deep in a disaster project in the making.

I’m sitting in the gym with goggles on and a dust mask on..

Notepad and pen in hand…

With dust particles swarming all around me- ready to tell you all about this fucking fiasco of a project I was somehow dragged into.

In terms of the conditions of stress I am currently under my work ethic should be noted.

Oh, and not my work ethic on this floor job I am currently involved in here in the gym am I speaking about.

But my work ethic in terms of Joewriteshiswrongs…

Though no matter the conditions I am faced with, I try not to lose a moment to tell you all about them.

So what is this floor job I am talking about..

Well, here in the gym there is a project underway right now as we speak where we are taking up all the old paint on the floor.

The many coats of ancient paint on the floor that have been there for years!

Then, once that is done…

The gym floor will be repainted.

A project slated for about a week…

Yet it looks like it will take a month.

This is ass busting hard work…using an oversized floor buffer machine that sort of looks like a floor buffer on steroids…

It slowly grinds away the ancient paint kicking off a shit storm of dust in the process.

Sitting here covered in dust and writing this, again, I question how the hell I was talked into this.

Especially, when I look back at the crew of guys I have to work with..

What a sorry bunch we are..

We are all a bunch of jackass with no concept of how to do a job of this size and scale. Yes, we are trying to get it done the best way we can figure too.

Everyone wants to be an informant…

Everyone has an idea of how to get the job done…

Some are better than others…

Some are just not good at all…

And unfortunately the worst ideas on how to get this job done…

They come from the guy in charge of the whole thing.

How can you possibly be in charge of something you show up 2 hours late for the next day.

Leaving a bunch of PRISONERS left to figure it out for themselves.

Then when you do show up you don’t even bring the proper tools to get the job done with…

If an outside contractor came in to do this they would probably charge $15,000-$20,000.

In here we are doing all of this for nothing.

As I continue this post… I am now back in my housing unit.

Out of the dust yet still covered in it.

But now, back sitting beside my bunk.

I quit the job.


Because. I realized there were two sorts of things in life…

Things you shouldn’t quit.

And the things you really should.

The things you shouldn’t quit are things you should endure even when the times get tough…

Like trying to make something totally awesome out of Joewriteshiswrongs.

Things like this that you believe in and fight for.

These are the things that will add to your life.

That will enhance the value.

Yup, on the flip side…

There are the things in life that you realize don’t matter at all…

Like a floor project working with a bunch of idiots with an even bigger idiot overseeing the whole thing.

Things like this could never add any value to your life.

Only useless and unneeded stress!

Something’s in life I feel are okay in life to quit.

Especially when they are a distraction from the bigger and more important picture.

I’m far too busy to be distracted by something that means nothing to me at all.

I know that sounds funny coming from a prisoner but it’s too true. I mean, every day I am busting my ass working towards a brighter future.

I don’t need the ass busting work of redoing some prison floor to be added to that.

Now I know some of you might think maybe I should not have quit this job. Like maybe something of value COULD have been gained from it.

Like maybe some sort of team building skills or something…

Maybe you’re right, too.

But a man can only take so much…

Especially when he has other shit going on.

Way more important shit.

Like a crowd-funding campaign which has the sole purpose of bettering all I am trying to do here with joewriteshiswrongs.

Today I learned a whole lot. But I think one of the biggest lessons I learned is that when you have a big job that needs to get done…

It is best to have the right tools available…

And also…

Don’t use a bunch of dumbasses to try and get the job done.

Click here to read the follow up to this story

The Bitch Master…

Guys who are wrapped up on the wrong side of the judicial system love to watch Law and Order for some reason.

I won’t lie neither…

Even I enjoy watching Law and Order from time to time, especially when I need a TV show that is going to put me RIGHT to sleep.

It’s as if we’re not already surrounded by enough cops and bad guys in our lives being that we’re in prison that we must watch stories between the two play out on TV, as well.

One night, I guess Law and Order SVU was suppose to come on, and it didn’t.

Something else must have came on instead because this guy who I will refer to as “The Bitch Master”, simply because he bitches about everything, starts bitching about how the TV guide said Law and Order was suppose to come on yet some other show was on instead.

The Bitch Master is in fact so disgruntled in fact by this error in the TV scheduling that he begins to rant and rave to anyone within ear shot who will listen…

“Hey, you trying to watch Law and Order SUV?!”

“Yeah, me too!”

“The tv says Law and Order SUV!”

“But this ain’t no SUV!”

“I don’t know what this is!”

“But this damn sure ain’t no SUV!”

The Bitch Master reefers to Law and Order SVU as SUV about 20 times during the course of his little bitch fest.

I am amazed at how quickly The Bitch Masters obvious lack of abbreviated knowledge has now irritated me.

I want to scream “you dumb fuck!”

“It’s not S-U-V!”

“An SUV is a vehicle!”

“A sport utility vehicle you dumb fuck!”

“The show is called Law and Order SVU as in ‘special victims unit’, and don’t act like you don’t know this either with your old sex crimes having-looking ass!”


Some of these guys in prison are idiots!

I know none of this would be news to The Bitch Master, though. So it’s because of this that I don’t begin my own rants and raves feeding into all of this.

He knows the show is really called SVU. But I guess somewhere in his ignorant complaint filled mind he thinks maybe he sounds cool referring to a show about the special victims unit in an opposite abbreviation.

“Why ain’t SUV on!?!” The Bitch Master continues.

“I don’t know why the TV guide would lie and say SUV would be on.”

“Man, I’m tired of the TV guide always lying to me.”

“Always lying about what’s on TV.”

The Bitch Master bitches about everything.

And what’s funny is usually all of his complaints are somehow turned into why he is in prison.

Because the world is against him.

Everyone and everything is out to see that he never succeeds in life.

Even the TV guide…

“Damn TV guide always lying to my like everyone else is.”

“That’s probably why I’m in prison now.”

The Bitch Master bitches about everything….

In here, for some reason, I find myself bitching about The Bitch Master.

Crashing a car because of the tattoo

After guys have been locked up for a bunch of years, they tend to lose their ability to handle relationships with people, especially those out there in the free world. I’m no exception to this, neither. At times, I struggle in my own daily dealings with those that I talk to outside of these fences.

But not as much as others do.


Because I am awesome of course!  Whereas most others here are not.

They do not share my same sense of awesomeness, therefore it should come as no surprise as to why it is so easy for them to (crash the car) in their own lives.

Remember what to crash the car is, right? (Crash the car)

Well, if you don’t, or you are new here, or missed that post, then check out (Don’t crash the car) for the full scoop as to what that is about.

This little story is about one such guy who we will call “Superman”.

Why Superman?

Well, because this guy has a big old Superman symbol tattooed in a pretty strange place…

Believe me. Whatever you’re thinking right now, location wise…

You’re wrong.

But that’s all I can say about that.

So… Superman was this pretty awesome guy.

Key word… “was”.

Just your average Joe Schmo who had been locked up for a few years and was lonely.

As fate would have it, someone close to him would become a “God sent”.

They would introduce Superman to this super beautiful chick.

From that point, things took off super quick. Superman was talking to this chick all the time.

On the phone…

Reading her letters…

Getting tons of pictures…

He would even show everyone all the pictures he was getting of this chick and you could tell he was really proud to have her.

For a very very short while this guy was someone to be admired by many.

But Superman was falling fast and heavy. It seemed this chick was coming more like Kryptonite to him then a God sent.

Sometimes I would be on the phone talking to my beautiful amazing girl and “Super” would be on the phone next to me where I couldn’t help but overhear him arguing with this chick from time to time.

Nothing to major I thought.

People argue all the time. Especially while in prison.

But looking back on it now, maybe that was a sign of trouble to come.

Maybe this chick wasn’t “feeling” Superman the way he was feeling her.

Or, maybe Superman was just a super douche.

But I guess he had to be. Because what did he do next…?

Well, he wanted to surprise this chick who he had never even met yet in person because to be allowed to visit, a person first had to be approved and on your visitation list.

Getting approval could take up to a month or two.

So Superman only knew this chick over the phone or through the letters they wrote.

But right before their first visit, Superman decided to get this chicks initials tattooed big as ALL OUT on his fingers!

One big ass bold blackened in letter on each of his fingers, and a big blackened in heart on his pinky.

Oh, what a surprise Superman had for this chick. And I guess the anticipation was just too much to bare.

Superman told this chick the night before their first visit and guess what happen on their first visit…?


This chick disappeared into thin air like she had never even been there before!

Like a super hero herself the way she just vanished.

Sometimes a tattoo can solidify a relationship.

But in most cases…tattooing someone’s name is a last ditch effort to hold onto someone who is already gone.