Valentines Day or an Ex Prisoner.

Today is Valentines Day. And this is the first Valentines Day I get to spend out in the free world…

I’m going to try and make today a nice special day for me and my girlfriend. Because truth be told, every holiday I’ve been out here for thus far has been a disaster.

Seriously, every one of them.

Halloween-disaster.

My birthday-not so much.

Thanksgiving-big disaster.

Christmas-big disaster.

New years-huge disaster.

Yep I don’t think there has been a holiday yet that hasn’t turned out to be a disaster …

So, there’s hope for today that that won’t happen.

Sorry also for snapping a little lately. And thank God I didn’t post YESTERDAY…

OhmyGod that would have been…

Well…

A disaster.

Yep, times are tough as fuck right now for ol Joe out here in the free world…

Bills are piling up.

Work has not been the best (as in actually having work that is….)

And old demons are playing on my conscious quite a bit.

But despite all that, I’m still focused on keeping on…

Gotta maintain the good fight and keep an optimistic outlook.

I’m constantly looking for BETTER MORE STABLE work.

And I’m looking to further my art ventures as much as I can, too.

Something will come from all this dedication as long as I just stay after it.

And stay after it, I do.

Today, I just want today to be a good day. A day where I can make my girlfriend happy and I can get done what I am supposed too.

You know, all this that I’m going through right now is EXACTLY why guys end up going back to prison…

It’s fucking de ja vu.

I mean, this was how it all started for me the last time before I spiraled out of control and ended up getting arrested and sent back to prison for 7 years.

I can’t let that happen this time.

And I won’t.

I remember the last time, back in 2008…

I had just gotten laid off from my job because of the “recession.”

I asked my girlfriend at the time, I said, “what is something that would make you NOT want to be with me..?”

“If you didn’t have a job and if we had no money.” She said.

Voila.

Drug sales entered the picture.

Definitely not going down that road again.

Moving on to more positive things…

It’s Valentines Day folks..! And I hope yours is a special one spent with someone just as special..!

I’m thankful that I’m not in prison for this one and that I’m able to spend it out here with the woman I love. No matter the circumstances. Fuck it for today.

Today is about love.

Tomorrow the stress can return.

Happy Valentines Day everyone.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

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5 thoughts on “Valentines Day or an Ex Prisoner.

  1. hang in there Joe, don’t let the old ways drag you back, you are better than that, everyone is… I don’t have the answers, I have not been in your particular situation but I know how it is to be down, heartbroken, ready to just give up on everything… you can’t let it win because it is not who YOU really are. I’m sure you have read or heard about a million selfhelp books, as I have, but I have recently found one that really has helped me, it is called “the Power of Now” by Eckhart Tolle. you may have already read this but if not, give it a try, like they say, when you are ready the teacher will appear, maybe you are ready?

    But put all this stuff aside for today at least, make today about love between you and your lovely lady, don’t bring up the negative for today, hold her and just drink in her love and know that THAT is really worth fighting for. Much peace and love to you. i will hold you close in my heart today and everyday, feel the positive energy I am sending to you and don’t give up. I KNOW you will find the way that it best for you, don’t give up, I have faith in you. Michelle

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thank you for those powerful words. Yes, I am hanging in there. And I won’t give up either. You’re positive energy is very much appreciated. And you know what.? Valentines Day turned out to be pretty damn good. So that was a welcomed change of pace. Thank you for being there and for your support.

      Like

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