8 reasons I’m thankful to be in prison

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You know I’m always mentioning how prison sucks and how I hate this place and how negative it is but here are 8 reasons I’m thankful to be here.

 I got my GED here…. Without prison or without getting locked up I might never have gotten my GED actually, I know I wouldn’t have, not with the way I was living prior to getting arrested. But as fate would have it, I did get arrested and it was almost immediately after my arrest and the beginning of this journey that I was enrolled in a GED class at the jail. I busted my ass in that class too and I knew that getting my GED would help me a lot at my sentencing. So within only 4 months…I took and passed all parts of the test my first time, too!

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This has been an eye opening experience…. When I mention this, the one thing that comes to mind over everything else is just how much “snitching” is involved in the whole getting locked up and prison thing.  I use to think long ago that prison is where all the “real” people are at. But now I realized it’s not, in fact it’s mostly where all the fake people are. In the midst of all this fakeness and telling I am the odd ball. Because I unlike very few others didn’t, haven’t or wouldn’t snitch or tell anything. For more on that check out Jail House Snitches.

Prison helps me conquer addiction… Drugs and alcohol were a serious part of my past; now it is my greatest hope to leave both of those as-“a part of my past”. Prison has allowed me to be clean and sober for the past 6+ years. And though, if I really wanted to I could do drugs here in prison, I choose not to. Simply because of others I have seen through this time.  I’ve witnessed countless others give into their demons and seeing that with a clear and sober mind only gives me that much more motivation to stay the course with myself.

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Without prison I would have never realized my dreams and goals…  I was living a fast life before prison I don’t think I had many dreams or goals out there in free society. Considering all that I did try to accomplish simply fell apart right before my eyes which made me resort back to my illegal lifestyle which ultimately led to my incarceration.

Yet here, I have been able to reestablish my dreams and goals. And what about if when I get out those dreams and goals fall apart like they have done so many times through my life… Well, one thing this incarceration has definitely taught me about dreams and goals is that in pursuit, you must never give up, even if they seem like they will never pan out…If that’s the case then rethink your dreams and goals, change them even, but never give up as I did in the past. Look where that got me!

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I could have been dead by now… With the path I was heading down in life prior to prison I could have been killed out there or maybe even died from an overdose like so many of my friends. Maybe in a sense prison saved my life.

I mentioned this in many raps I have written over the course of time but one that stands out most said “If everything happens for a reason, right?/ Well there’s gotta be a reason I’m still breathing, right?”

I could have been arrested at a later time for something much worse… Nobody knows what could have been, right? Well who is to say that if I wasn’t arrested when I was that maybe sometime later I could have been and for something much worse. I really hate to even say that but let’s be honest. I mean, not only was I doing drugs prior to all of this I was also selling them so because of this I use to carry a gun. I was crazy then. And I’m just thankful more than anything that I was never put in a position where I had to use it.

I’ve grown as an individual… Nothing in my life has affected me as much as this incarceration. All this time I have spent gone from the world and all that I have experienced throughout this. So many stressful situations. So much that has been beyond my control. So many different people that I have meet and either liked or hated yet had to learn to deal with regardless because I have to live around them.  As much crazy shit as I have seen… I don’t think any other situation could cause me to grow as much as a person. Then the many years I’ve spent in prison has.

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JoeWritesHisWrongs… This had to make the list! I mean, if I had never gotten locked up and wasn’t forced to deal with all the struggles and the hardships of incarceration, then I most certainly never would have created JoeWritesHisWrongs. But I was arrested and locked up and I’ve had to deal with all of this head on. Which in doing so cause me to come up with and create JoeWritesHisWrongs along the way. And look at how awesome that has turned out to be!

It’s crazy when you think about it. But I really do have some great reasons to be THANKFUL I’m in PRISON. No matter how bad this place is outside of those reasons.

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TV shows that could have a prison version of them

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“Survivor” prisoners versus CO’s…Take two teams, one of prisoner and one of corrections officers and put them against each other survival style. Threw weekly competitions. At the end of each episode each team has to vote off one player who is the weakest link until only one remains as the winner…

Who will be the winner…

A prisoner or a member of staff.

The real world (prison)…What happens when you put CoffeeMan, Serial Killer and Johnny the Panty Bandit in a cell block with a few other prisoners and a video camera… and things start getting “real”.

Imagine the drama. The humor.

What an awesome show idea!

The first 48 (trouble on the rec yard)…Imagine there has been a stabbing on the rec yard. Many prisoners are around to witness it and now the staff must investigate to figure out who committed this offense and why. Follow investigators threw interviews with jail house snitches who hope the information they gave leads to so kind of time cut plus staff tries to close the case in under 48 hours.

Intervention (addicted to prison)…not just in prison because addiction. Well imagine how some of these addicted behaviors can carryover even while prison. Maybe its drugs..or gambling or porn…Yes there are guys here who are addicted to porn!

This show could show prisoners on the inside and their battle with addiction.

Prison Ink…Now this is a great idea! There’s a lot of tattoo shows out there. But what about ones about prison artists. I’ve heard a lot of people say before that there is some pretty amazing talent in prison, as likewise creative wise and especially tattoo wise. Some of the best work is being done on the inside imagine a TV show all about that. Maybe show work as it’s done and how important watching out for the guards is.

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These are just a few that I could think of…

Can you think of any others…? And which do you think would be the most interesting…?

10 tips on stress from a guy in prison – Poll

Please take the poll and let me know what number works best for you when it comes to trying to relieve stress.

10 tips on stress from a guy in prison

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I’m in prison. So you got to imagine I know a thing or two about dealing with stress. Especially while in a stressful environment.

It gets no more stressful then being in prison…

These tips that I offer are far from unilateral. They can be used by anyone in any sort of stressful environment.

At home.

Or at the office.

Or in prison…

You know if you are anything like me and you ever find yourself there.

What’s also good about receiving stressful advice from a prisoner is where I am at, I have limited resources…

That means that anything I suggest you try or use should certainly be in your means to use.

So I certainly won’t be suggesting you use a day spent at a luxurious spa being waited on hand and foot…

Or somewhere you are getting massages…

By the way…

If you are ever in prison, you should never be getting massages!

Here are 10 tips on stress from a prisoner who as he writes this is surrounded by a jungle gym of chaos!

10. Laugh at stress… Sometimes we get so stressed out that all we can do is laugh at what is stressing us out.

For example…Right now as I write these 10 tips on stress from a guy in prison

I’m stressed out to the max because of this new counselor who is now in charge of my housing unit…

She looks like some homeless rhino bum…and she has an attitude that is on level “10”.

Add to all of that that she keeps on nit picking on me and this leads to a recipe for a “stress cuisine”.

So how do I conquer that…?

Well, one way is just to laugh at the stupidity of it all, and maybe even laugh a little sinister like too, because I know this woman will end up being a story I tell on JWHW with a cartoon to boot. HAHAHAHHAHA

So yeah…

Sometimes when you are stressed whether in prison or the real world just laugh at that stress.

Then maybe, hopefully, you will realize, as I often do, that whatever it is stressing you out, like a little councilor bitch who resembles quit favorly a dweller of the underground subway tunnels- just isn’t that damn serious to be stressing about.

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9. Make a phone call… In prison not everyone is fortunate enough to make a phone call to someone who cares when they are stressed out.

Fortunately I am.

But I can remember a time when I wasn’t able to do so.

Why?

Well, because I was considered scum of the earth.

But hey!

I guess now I’m not, right?

The point is that YOU on the other hand are more than likely NOT considered prisoner scum forgotten at times by the earth!

You’re out there in the world and I am quite sure have someone if not a couple of someone’s who you can call when you need to talk or possibly vent to as well.

“Venting” is a great way to relieve stress and that can easily be done by simply making a phone call to a loved one or a friend and simply saying “hey, let me tell you about this.”

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8. Read a hilarious story… I was going to add to that (or check out a funny video)… But being as I am in prison I can’t check out the latest viral sensation on Youtube… But you can.

So maybe I should add that.

Anyways.

Reading a hilarious story is a great way to change the subject in your mind (to sort of say).

Especially with stress seems to be the main topic on it!

And hey, you know what…?

I know a great place to read a hilarious story!

What’s that…?

Did you say “tell me you’re not about to plug no blog here”?

Well of course I am!

Check out JoeWritesHIsWrongs  and The craziest piss test everscan0018

What a great story about a hilarious yet super stressful time in prison that is certainly able to lighten the mood and it also helps with whatever is stressing you.

Or, if you are one of the many people who might think my content SUCKS and is retched trash then check out a blog or Youtube channel that you do like and has content that you do like.

And hey, I’m not offended if you don’t like my content..

I’m just…

Wow…

You don’t think I am funny, huh?

Anyways.

The point is, reading a hilarious story or even watching a funny video works wonders with your stress.

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7.Write a letter…So, writing a letter is another great way to like preverbal beat stress in the head with a bat…

The probable is, who in the hell writes letters still these days.

Actually, does anyone write ANYTHING these days…?

No serious.

I’m asking for real…

I mean, because I have been in prison for 6+ years and I really don’t know.

Does anyone write anything with a pen and paper these days..?

Or is everything done on the phone or a tablet?

I think the only people still writing letters these days are the likes of us prisoners still stuck in the prehistoric Stone Age.

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But the point is…

Writing a letter to someone (even to yourself) is a great way to get whatever is stressing you out- on the paper.

And hey, you don’t even have to pick up that pen that must weight a ton these days to do so.

You can type up an email, text, inbox or anything! Getting all those frustrations out on paper-will more than likely the screen.

And hey, you don’t even have to send it to anyone if you don’t want to.

But then again…

If you don’t want to send it, then don’t accidentally hit “send”!

Like say for example you type a nasty little email ABOUT YOUR BOSS expressing how far he or she might have their head shoved up their ass, more than likely wouldn’t be a good idea.

But venting in such a way is GREAT in fighting against stress!

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6. Doodle something…What the hell!? You’re probably thinking….

You don’t draw, right?

But who cares what your artistic skills are like..

Art is super relaxing!

Say you are at work or on the phone dealing with a horrendous customer who won’t shut up about whatever the hell it is they are complaining about…

And you’re almost on the verge of losing it…

Take a little scrap paper and a pen or pencil and turn your frustrations into a little illustration. Expressing on that paper exactly how you feel.

Make a little stickman cartoon…

Maybe one of you on the phone dealing with this asshole customer and something you REALLY want to say in response.

Or how you wish you could handle whatever frustrating stressful issue you are dealing with at the moment.

Doodling can be a fun and relaxing way to express and release your stress!

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5.Captain Phillip your stress…I am the captain now… Captain Phillips is a term we made up here in prison…

Nobody in the world is using this term…

So if ever your friends or co-workers ask you how you handle something…

Just say “Like Captain Phillips- I took command of the situation.”

Then follow it up with an eye to eye finger pointing for added emphasis then say “Look at me! Look at me! I am dee cap-tin-now!” 

Saying that you Captain Phillips’d a situation is a sure way to let people know you took command and control of the situation.

Do you want to know what another good thing to Captain Phillips is…?

Stress!

Right!

Wow, you’re smart!

I would have personally never guessed stress…

But you did! So congrats!

And yes, stress is something we can all Captain Phillips…

Stress is something we can all take command of…

How..?

Well, by just doing so of course!

By simply having a one on one convo with ourselves and saying “Hey, look…this is only as bad as I allow it to be.”

We can choose to allow something such as stress and whatever is stressing us to take us over completely or we cannot allow that to happen.

I am a firm believer that things are only as good or bad as we allow them to be or at least we are in control of ourselves and how we choose to feel.

And just in terms, I think a lot of us, myself heavily included, forget this.

In prison, as in the real world, you have to Captain Phillips everything the best way you can.

Every situation and every day the best way that you can.

Because in a lot of situations you are not in command or in control.

But there is always that one thing that you can Captain Phillips as long as you remember to do so…

And that is yourself…

With enough willpower we can always be in command and control of that.

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4.Turn stress into progress… This is a great way to beat stress.

Doing something,..

anything…

Something productive…

Something Proactive…

Being able to take that negative energy and  turning it into something good.

Something positive.

What a feeling of accomplishment you will be filled with afterwards too…

Being able to channel that stress and use it as a fuel to get something done.

But not everyone is able to do this…

Because it takes an immense amount of focus.

So this isn’t a solve all for everyone.

But for those who are able to, this is a great thing to have the ability to use.

For me, personally…

I “sometimes” use this one.

As in sometimes I can…

But then, sometimes I can’t…

Prison… add the truth of the real world…

Doesn’t always provide the same level of stress all the time.

Sometimes the stress level is at “10”.

Sometimes it’s at “4”.

Or sometimes it’s at “12”…

It’s all just a matter of the moment.

Its either going to work or it isn’t but it’s always worth putting in some effort of trying.

And hey, if it doesn’t work…

Don’t feel bad…

There is always number three.

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3. Masturbate…Hey, these are tips on stress from a guy in prison… So it should be no surprise that this made the list or that is ranked so high even!

But upon giving further thought to masturbating…

You know if more people did this more often then maybe the world would be a heck of a lot LESS stressful!

In prison when you are stressed out masturbating is a great way to relieve that tension.

Maybe more people should consider that in the real world too.

Stressed at the office…

Boss giving you are heard time…

Well slide on over to the restroom and squeeze one out…

I promise you will feel great afterwards.

Singular hand sex is something people probably don’t give enough credit to as a great tool in stress.

Then again, maybe they do, they just don’t want to admit it.

Hey guess what?

I’m stressed out all the time in prison!

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2. Music… no matter where you are or what kind of stress you are dealing with at the moment whether you are at home, in the car, or at work, music is always a great way to block out whatever stress you are dealing with.

But what if you are in an environment where you can’t just turn on the music and vibe out!

Well, you could always sing or rap to yourself..

Sound crazy?

Well, if you never tried it don’t knock it until you do.

Singing to yourself is a great way to take your mind off of whatever is stressing you out at the moment.

If you want to take it a little further you can sing or rap about whatever it is that has you stressed.

Take for example “me” when I am trying to sleep and Kenny is sitting right behind me carrying on a conversation with someone about something stupid.

I might rap to myself…

“Kenny please shut up can’t you see I’m sleeping/ I got to work up in the am/ You get to sleep and stay in…”

Now, I know this sounds crazy but you have no idea how therapeutic this can be to combat stress.

Just be careful you might actually find that you like this so much that you start making up little songs about EVERYTHING.

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1. Exercise… In my own personal experience exercise, is probably the best way you can fight stress.

Though, I can’t really believe I am saying this is #1 and NOT masturbating!

But, exercising really does trump everything else.

What’s great about exercise is you can pretty much do it anywhere…

Anyway you want to with virtually anything you have available to you at the moment.

Within reason of course.

I mean, I certainly don’t recommend that you bust out 10 quick sets of squats in the grocery store if you find yourself stressed to the max there, or in the middle of a meeting at the office.

But exercise is a great thing to do after that

Was it grocery shopping that stressed you are, or a meeting at work?

Well, exercise can surely alleviate all the stress you feel because of that.

Keep this in mind too…

The harder you work the better you feel.

The more you put into working out the more you get from it.

In prison, you are not always guarantee to be at a place that has a weight set like you see in the movies.

In fact, a lot of prisons don’t even have weight sets at all.

It’s because of this that prisoners come up with all sorts of workout techniques with all sorts of stuff to use as equipment.

From curling or lifting chairs to sandbags or water buckets…

Or tying a sheet of some sorts to something to pull them self up with.

Though I don’t really recommend tying a rope around anything…

Someone might see you doing this and get the wrong idea of how you plan to handle your stress…

Bottom line…

Exercise is the best way to feel better when you are at your wits end.

So do it.

Don’t make excuses. Just go do it.

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And last a tip from my homeboy “Bird”. So I asked a lot of prisoners input when it came to this post.

But no one was more helpful then my homeboy Bird who helped me come up with a lot of these tips as well.

I feel this wouldn’t be complete if I didn’t add what he finally said after about the fifth time of me asking him “ok…But what would you do if you were stressed out and THAT didn’t work?”

It was then that he said what so many prisoners turn to and say quickly before anything else…

“WHOOPHISASS”!

Yeah…

I guess in some circumstanced fisticuff is what it has to be…especially in prison!

So for those of you who aren’t in such a barbaric world as this…

I don’t really recommend this prison favorite.

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Not just a number

I want to give a big thank you to everyone who has given their condolences it really means a lot.

I also want to give an extra special thank you to…

Erika over at ErikaKind

Cathrine over at Cathrinelyonaddictedtodimes

Josh over at myfridayblog

Michelle over at heartwordsforpoetry

All of you took the time to not only read my most recent post but also hand out some encouraging words that I will forever be grateful for. It feels good knowing not everyone sees me as just a number and some of you actually want to see me succeed in life.

It is support like yours and having Jen by my side through all of this that keeps me going when I question what all of this is for.

It’s hard not to let all the negativity start to take control when you are surrounded by it daily.

Soon this part of my life will be behind me and I can start fresh…

Because out of those ten prisoners I mentioned in “Am I talking to a dead man” I WILL be one of the two who make it in the real world.

I promise you that!

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Am I talking to a dead man

It’s got to be the fact that I just found out that this guy Nassar died and how he just left this prison in Oct of last year…

And how my good friend Justin Hobbs died just a short time before him…

After he had just been released just a short time before also…

And how two other guys also died both a little before Hobbs

Both who just recently went home from this prison as well…

It’s got me thinking about all that that’s got me questioning if I am talking to a dead man as I sit talking with this guy in a wheelchair. A guy I mentioned in a few previous stories.

A guy who aside from his own horrible health has a whole list other problems that are sure to handicap him.

Especially after released.

The point I’m trying to make is after seeing so many guys come and go from prison…

So many guys gotten out just to come right back.

Or guys who have gotten out only to die from drug overdose a short time after…

I’ve begun to feel like at this point if I can get out and kinda feel like I stand a chance out there…

And who is gonna get out and stand no chance in the world of making it…

But this isn’t 100% fool proof. I mean, I really thought Hobbs would make it and I was completely floored when I heard Hobbs died.

But wheelchair is one of those guys that I feel absolutely has no chance in making it in the real world.

As is CoffeeMan.

Want to know another guy I felt didn’t stand a chance…

Sadly, it was Nassar.

I mean, even in prison, addiction plagued this guy’s life.

He stayed getting high.

He stayed catching “dirty urine”

He stayed going to the hole because of that.

It’s unfortunate to have to admit this…

But I’m not surprised to hear about this guy’s death…

What’s crazy is when Jen asked me if I knew a guy named Nassar…

I immediately knew she was going to tell me he was dead.

Crazy right?

That’s why as I’m talking to Wheelchair I question whether or not I’m talking to a dead man.

And it’s not because this guy has a drug problem but it’s because he has so many other problems.

His attitude for one…

And the way he gets so confrontational with people.

I mean, someone could very well kill this guy after he gets released…

I’ve seen this guy beaten up at least twice already while here once in complete blood bath like fashion for the way he runs off at the mouth.

Prison doesn’t care if you’re in a wheelchair either.

No one is above getting beaten up here or even killed here.

The same could easily be said about being out there in the real world.

So, as wheelchair and I talk I wonder am I talking to a dead man?

A guy who will get out and be like so many others who died a short time after their release.

Or, maybe it will be CoffeeMan, instead…

Or maybe both of them…

Or maybe neither of them…

Or maybe it will be someone else completely…

Someone I never expected it to be…

Maybe it will be me.

Someone said to me it is the ones you think don’t stand a chance that will actually go out there and make it.

But I don’t necessarily agree with that logic.

I believe I have a more sound theory

If I’m in prison and I talk to nine guys…

Me making the tenth guy …

Then out of us ten…

Six are going to come back to prison…

Two are going to die…

And two are going to make it. As in really make it.

Like leave prison as a part of their past never to return again.

And with this theory of mine…

I really hope I’m one of the two who can make it.

Because it would really suck if as I am sitting here questioning whether or not I’m talking to a dead man…

And that potential dead man is me.

Never give up

There are days I definitely feel defeated and just want to give up.

Then I look around at all the guys laying in their bunks doing nothing with their lives and I tell myself how I refuse to be like them.

I have come too far over the past 7 years to get defeated in my last year before I walk through those gates a free man.

I have to make it out there.

I WILL make it out there.

Don’t ever let anyone tell you that you can’t make it because you can. Just like I know I can make it and I won’t stop until I reach the top.

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Another gone too soon

Unbelievable…I mean that is all I really can say. Another guy who had the whole world ahead of him who just recently went home from this prison died.

Another guy who battled addiction is gone from this world far too soon. Another guy I knew and delt with on a daily basis is dead far too young.

RIP Faris Nassar!