“The first time I was ever arrested…”

There are certain stories from my life, a lot of stories actually, that are just too much for this blog.

Some of the personal accounts of the most unbelievable shit I have ever been through.

Others are completely over the top, too much to be posted here on Joewriteshiswrongs.

It is all of these stories that I hope to utilize into something productive.

Something positive.

Funny too considering all of these stories involve my past which is a pretty negative subject. But then again, I am trying to turn that negative into a positive.

I’m offering these stories from my past in short story eBooks.

For $1.99 you can glimpse into the madness that use to be my life.

By purchasing these short story eBooks that are guaranteed to entertain, you will not only learn a lot more about me you will also help me start moving in the direction as I inch closer to release.

What direction is that?

Well… profits made from these eBooks will go directly towards the seemingly insurmountable court fines I must pay in order to get my life back on track (more coming on that this week).

For now, enjoy a story for free.

This is an example of an over the top short story about a time from my past that is much like the short story eBooks I’ll soon be offering here on Joewriteshiswrongs.

Keep in mind that if you enjoy this story that follows then there is a great chance you will enjoy the short story eBooks as well.

Hope you enjoy!

Let me know what you think!



“The first time I was ever arrested…”

When I was 18 years old I was completely out of control. Back then my entire life revolved around crime…

Mostly breaking into unlocked cars.

This was something I did with a good friend of mine. Something that was dangerous as hell that could have easily gotten us killed.

Something that today I am not proud of. Back then, sort of a means of survival.

It was how my friend and I got by… Breaking into these unlocked cars in search of whatever we could find of value.


Stereo systems.



We would usually scope out nice suburban areas during the day. Taking our time to learn the neighborhoods, we would take notice of exit routes and possible points of interest.

Then at night, late at night, we would get dressed up in all black and began our assault on these innocent unsuspecting neighborhoods.

Usually it would start out with one of us going up into someone’s driveway, checking to see if a car was unlocked and it if was, then we would open the door and start rummaging about for goodies.

While this took place, the other would stand watch.

But as the night progressed, we would get more daring.

More ballsy.

Within an hour it was common for each of us to be on our own, taking inventory of unlocked cars with no one standing guard.

This made our felonious activities that much more dangerous because not only did we not have anyone there watching our backs in case someone saw us that we didn’t see, it was also easy to lose track of where the other one was at.

This one night in particular all of that would come into play…

The night began as most others did. One of us began checking unlocked cars while the other stood guard.

Then before long both of us were busy at work.

All of a sudden while I was inside of a car, the garage light popped on right in front of me.

Then, the garage door cranked to life and began opening!

Within .-2 seconds I was gone.

I hauled ass so fast I can’t even remember much of anything.

Like where I ran…where I hid.


What I do remember is that I had no idea where my crime partner was at.

I just took off. Not even looking to see if he was anywhere in site.

Looking back on this, I feel like a coward.

He could have easily gotten jammed up because of me. I mean, I just took off.

But I won’t lie…I was scared.

Once I had gotten into what I felt like was a safe distance away, which only ended up being right across the street hiding behind a neighbor’s house, I watched what was going on back at the house that had just been wakened.

They must have seen me because in the upstairs window I saw the light come on and then go out, and then the mini blinds parted where someone must have been keeping an eye out.

Not only that, but someone had gotten into the vehicle I had just previously occupied and began canvassing the neighborhood. “Shit.” I thought. “They are looking for me.”

What’s worse?

I had no idea where my friend was at.

Thankfully, though. I began hearing a distant faint whistle…

I knew then it was my partner and all of his illegalness.

He was looking for me.

We soon met up and he recounted the event that had led up to where we now were.

He said he heard the garage door open up and saw me run, and then he also ran.

Thank God.

I then told him what I knew up to that point…

Someone saw me, someone is now watching from the upstairs window.

And someone is out now looking for us…creeping slowly up and down the street looking for us.

This posed a HUGE problem for a couple of reasons.

1…. We didn’t know for sure but we had assumed the cops had been called.

2…. There was someone in a vehicle right now looking for us. Probably looking to KILL us! And,

3…. The biggest problem of all…Our escape was seriously compromised at this point.

Not only was someone looking for us who might follow and chase us, and not only because the cops might be on their way at that exact moment… though, those two things were minor details compared to the biggest fact of our problem.

Our getaway vehicle…

It was parked right in front of these nice peoples house that had just awakened and were hunting for us!

Shit was not looking good…

We had no feasible solution to our problem of escaping.

But, for some reason, after what had seemed like an hour, we stopped seeing the car that was hunting for us. Also, we hadn’t seen the cops…

Maybe they didn’t call the cops.

Maybe they felt better to address the situation themselves. Maybe justifiable homicide was on their mind.

Who knows?

What I did know at the time… At least what I felt I knew…

I felt like we might have a chance to escape. All we had to do was run, jump in the car, and haul ass.

Screw the person who was still in the window watching us! The chase car seemed gone.

Maybe he had to go to work.

And it seemed the cops obviously weren’t coming.

The way I saw it, all we had to do was hop in the car, and get out of the city.

That was only a couple of minutes down the road.

So, after what seemed like forever, and after we mustered up the balls to make a run for it, possibly in plain sight of whoever was watching…

We went for it.

We ran out from behind the house like two mad men, both of us heading for the car. Once we reached the car I jumped in the driver’s seat.

My buddy slide across the hood of the car, something you would see in Dukes of Hazard.

With both of us safely in the car, I fumbled and bobbled the keys. But finaly I found the ignition.

Then I cranked the car to life, shifted it into gear, and VROOOOM! !

The engine roared load as a nascar. Yet we went nowhere.

I had shifted the car into neutral.


With the RPM still rocket high I grinded the gear shift into drive and we took off.

Somehow, miraculously, we made it out of the city and into another neighboring one.

I had suggested then that we call it a night. All that had just happen had to be a sign that this was not the night to fuck around. Yet, we were hard up for cash.

We had to chance it again in another city.

In another neighborhood.

So that’s what we did.

We pulled up into unfamiliar territory a neighborhood that we had not yet scoped out.

We parked the car, and began our mission in this village of wonder. Before long we had a mass of a few high dollar electronic items. Maybe this night could be salvaged after all.

At least that’s what I thought at the time.

Then, we saw headlights coming down the street.

Anytime a car came we were forced to hide. But as we did, we waited for the car to pass.

And pass it did. Only it did so very slowly…

But there was no mistaking what this car was.

It was an unmarked cop car.

“Okay, that’s it.” I thought.

It’s time to go.

We had risked it once and gotten away when shit turned bad. And we had risked it again. This time around collecting big ticket items.

Now it was time to get the hell out of dodge.

Once the coast was clear, we again hopped in the car to make yet another great escape.

Only this one wouldn’t be so great.

Nor would we even escape for that matter.

When we pulled up to a stop light leaving from the neighborhood, there was a cop car directly in front of us waiting for the light to turn so he could head into the neighborhood.

I felt it instantly.

He was there for us.

As soon as the light turned my gut was right. We turned to leave, and he jumped right behind us.

Lights blazing.

I pulled over hoping to concoct some story as to what we were doing but my efforts were to no avail.

We were instantly arrested.

Grand larceny.

Possession of burglary tools.

With me in one cop car and my buddy in another we were both hauled off to jail.

I had no idea what the future would hold for either of us.

Will we spend years locked up?

Would my life be over?

At that point, I really didn’t care to think about any of that.

So I went to sleep.

And I slept pretty good too considering that was my first time ever being arrested.


Follow up to the cop car poll/survey

Thanks to everyone who took part in the poll about what you would do in the back of a cop car if for some reason you were being locked up. God forbid that ever really be the case for you though.

Also thanks to those who offered up their own person accounts of times they actually HAVE been in the back of cop cars.

It’s a little refreshing to know that some of you have had run-ins with the law. But it’s not that I’m happy to hear that. It’s just good to know that some of you can relate in that regard.

Wow… I learned a lot from taking this poll.


Let me rephrase that.

This “survey” gave me a little bit of a better understanding about a lot of you who check out Joewriteshiswrongs.

For example, only about 6% of you who participated in the poll said they would pray if they were locked up in the back of a cop car.

Does that speak more so to where religion ranks in the lives of those who voted?

Or, were there just some more likely options to choose from?


You want to know what I did in the back of a cop car on my first ride to jail.

I slept.

Nothing too exciting.

But the story that led up to why I was in the back of that cop car on my way to jail was quite the little adventure…

I think I will tell that story tomorrow. As to WHY I slept in the back of the cop car.

Who knows?

Maybe I realized that spending time in the back seat of cop cars and being shuttled to jail via the use of them, would become something of a norm from that point on.

Or maybe more likely so…

I just didn’t care at the time.

I was too young. Only 18 years old at the time… And WAY to reckless.   Thankfully with age I have gained some sense and have calmed down.

But what would my life be without all the years I was out of control?

I certainly wouldn’t have all the crazy stories I have to tell.

Speaking of telling stories… There is going to be a good one tomorrow.

So check back for that.

Thanks to all of you who follow Joewriteshiswrongs, and remember books will be coming soon. So be on the lookout for those as well.

What would you do….

If you were arrested for something, anything, and never had been arrested before, what would you do in the back of the cop car on the way to jail?

The “punk” tattoo guy

Along time ago back when I was “green” to all of this being locked up stuff, there was this friend I met while in jail. He had this tattoo on his chest of a crazy looking face, and under it was the word “punk”.

When I asked him why he had punk tattooed on his chest he told me it represented the style of music he liked…punk-rock.

Okay, I thought. Cool.

I like punk-rock too.

He even said he used to work at the Global radio station that played a lot of that type of music. This was a radio station I was a big fan of as well.

From that point on, we hit it off.

Punk tattoo guy was a pretty cool dude. Plus he always gave me magazines and all sorts of food, which, by the way, in jail, those are both two great things to have.

He got out shortly thereafter, but I wasn’t there for that. I was in solitary confinement due to a recent fight I had been in.

What’s crazy is that while I was in solitary I got a letter from the recently released punk tattoo guy.

Why is this crazy?

Well, because guys always say they will keep in touch after they are released, but most never do. Yet here was punk tattoo guy and yet not only did he write he also sent me $15.00.

Wow! This was great, I thought.

But then I read the letter he sent me. And it went something like this….

Hey Joe! How are ya? Hey. Look…. I’m not sure if you knew or not, but I’m not exactly straight. I’m not like some flaming fairy or nothing. But, I am gay…

Mayday, I thought we just lost major altitude.

As I read this, I reflected on a lot of things. And a lot of things started to make sense.


Was this gay dude trying to woo me through FOOD and MAGAZINES the entire time he was in jail? And now through $15.00 money orders after his release!?!

Well, if he was…

I was wooed.

I wrote back asap something along the lines of…

Hey punk tattoo guy! Thanks for the money order. By the way, NOT gay over here! Hey matter of fact, guess who is ABSOLUTELY the farthest thing from gay….?

This guy. Right here.

But hey, I’m not knocking your sexual affiliation just saying it’s not me.

Can we still be friends?

Oh hey, before I forget…

Could you look up the address of EVERY chick I ever had sex with…?

I’m really trying to “sure up” I’m NOT GAY.

Take care now.

Needless to say, I never heard from him again.

Guess I broke his gay little heart.

Oh, and by the way, the “punk” tattoo yeah, punk is also another word that can mean gay. Which is kinda what I thought when I first read it but he really threw me for a loop with all the music talk.

Thank God that was the only thing he threw me for.

Why is it that only horrible cartoons cause a buzz?

There may be times when I am in the midst of a certain topic and that’s really all I’m talking about on the blog. Then something happens that is completely irrelevant to that topic still, I find myself really feeling the need to address it.

This is one of those times.

As a cartoon artist I am always highly intrigued by cartoons that are published and then in turned, cause quit the up rise.

Controversial cartoons always seem to get the most “press”.  Which makes me ask myself this…

“Why in the hell don’t I just make controversial cartoons to get my own stuff ‘out there’ more?”

But no. Even I have certain limits. I always try to keep the line clearly drawn in the sand about things that could be considered too offensive. Even, if at times, it seems like I stray very closely to the edge of that line.

That’s a personal thing though.

I’m not really effected by nor do I mind other cartoon artist especially the more successful and the noun ones who seem to cross over that line a little more than they probably should.

Like I said before, I’m actually very intrigued by those who cross over that line from time to time and the offensive work that is the center of attention when they decide to do so.

This is not because I agree with the view point they depicted. Yo, it really doesn’t even have anything to do with the message the cartoon is conveying. It’s just interesting to see such a cartoon cause such a buzz. Especially when cartoons are such a dead medium in this day and age.

We live in such a fast ever evolving world where something like the third biggest news story as of lately is how much bigger the new iPhone is….

It’s just nice to see a cartoon get some attention every now and then. Even if it is one that is considered by many to be in such poor taste.

As far as the cartoon that is at the center of this controversy… It’s pretty obvious as to what it’s in reference too.


Cartoon by Glenn McCoy

Poor choice of cartoon

Shame on Pilot editors who approved the publication of the Sept. 13 editorial cartoon about Ray Rice and his wife.

I had just read that television stations had decided to stop showing the offensive video, so I was stunned to see this newspaper continue to spotlight it. What editorial purpose was served by depicting the victim so hideously?

The same day, a letter to the editor about offensive comic strips was published. The letter-writer said he had to cut the offensive strips from the pages before his granddaughters saw them. I hope his granddaughter didn’t read the editorial page that day, because the editorial cartoon was totally inappropriate (Virginia Pilot Sept. 20, 2014)

Prison tattoos….An introduction

Tattoos are a big part of prison life. Guys in here are always getting work done. Some get tons of work while others not so much. The minority here are the guys who don’t get any work at all. Most of these guys who don’t get any work are total douche bags.


Because usually the guys who don’t get any work are the guys who are TELLING on the ones who are. Don’t get me wrong, though. Not all who are not getting tattoos are police secret informants…

There are tons of exceptions.

Like the guys who can’t afford them. Or aren’t around anyone who is doing good work. Or they just don’t like tattoos and therefore have none.

Those guys, are for the most part, exempt from being categorized as total “D-bags”.

Guys got prison tattoos for all sorts of different reasons to. Some get pieces to represent the time they have served. Or gang affiliations. Girls they love or HAVE loved. The loss of someone close like a family member. Or possibly for the biggest reason of all… Simply for NO reason. They just get them because maybe they are bored. We, as prisoners here certainly have a lot of time on our hands.

Being as I use to be the “tat man” here in prison one of the many guys you could come to when getting your tattoos done, I’ve got tons of stories about this subject. Most of which are crazy as hell and I feel you will get much enjoyment from these wild and almost unbelievable tales.

Hey, this one time… this gay dude paid me to tattoo another guys name on him. That sure was a strange case to say the least.

Be prepared to be wowed, by the prison tattoo madness to come.

What’s to come…

Over the next couple of weeks there will be some awesome things going on here on Joewriteshiswrongs. First, I’m working to finalize my very first eBook that I hope all of you will show support for by purchasing it.

Also I will be telling a bunch of stories about prison tattoos. I guarantee this will be a very interesting topic as I have, oh, I don’t know… only about HUNDRED stories dealing with prison tattoos.

I’ll also be explaining (at some point) why it is so important for me to pay off all of my court fines.

Hint hint…

That’s why it is so important that you show support by purchasing my AWESOME eBooks.

All of the proceeds will be going directly to me trying to get my life back in order.  But that’s another thing for another time.

Right now it’s all about prison tats.

Oh… and maybe a character caricatured too. It has been awhile since I last introduced you to anyone here.

An idea and a question

“Do not ask me about my future. My future is my past.”

Okay… So here it is. Recently, I have been conflicted to say the least with what I am doing with Joewriteshiswrongs. I want to utilize this blog for all that it is and all that is can be. I really feel like there is a lot of potential here and not utilizing that would be a total waste.

Joewriteshiswrongs is all about my pitiful life incarcerated and everything going on with that as I try to forge a better and brighter life for myself.

But just as important as where I am trying to go from where I am is where I have come from and what I have gone through to get even this far.

My life certainly has been a crazy ride. I want to tell you all about it.

But first, I wonder would you even want to hear about it? It’s not a pretty story at all. It might even be the most insane adventure and journey you ever read about from a guy who has lived to tell it.

It’s a gritty tale chalked full of drugs, women and crime. But it’s also my life that has gotten me to this point.

Oh and by the way, “My big ass jacked up truck” was barely even scratching the surface through all the madness that has been my life.

I almost feel like this is the story I HAVE to tell, it is all that is my past and it has made my life what it currently is.

Theodore Roosevelt said after his presidency when asked if he would ever consider getting back into politics in the future…

“Do not ask me about my future. My future is my past.”

I relate that to my own life because what if it is my past that I am able to use as an avenue to help better my chances for the future.

I’ll explain more on that in a bit.

One thing is for sure, I will always be defined as the many mistakes and troubles that are my past. So “fuck it…why not tell you all about it.”

I mean, it’s a hell of a tale. Still, I wonder if you would want to hear it.

Deeper still is this urging to make something better for myself while incarcerated. There is so much I must do in an effort to get my life back on track after all this is behind me and my greatest hope is to begin working on that right now.

Every day I hear stories about people who have been exactly where I am and just how hard it was for them to get their life back on course.

Notice how I say “try”.


Because in most cases, these folks don’t get their life back on track, they end up right back in the same shit, in the same trouble.

Personally, I know the struggle quite well from the countless times I have tried and failed only to end right back locked up.

Well, no more will that be the life I am willing to settle for. In fact, I’m not willing to settle at all.

Right now I am in the most important stage of my incarceration thus far. It’s do or die at this point. Sink or swim.

I’m either gonna utilize every possible channel I can to better my chances for the future. Or I am going to fail.


So just what is it that I must do in an effort to get my life back on track?

One thing.

Pay off the mountainess debt that is what I owe in court fines.

If I don’t do this, then I don’t do anything. And I will explain more on that in a later post.

The point right now is this… I have to do all that I can to better my chances after released and the biggest key to that is at least attempting to pay off my court fines.

So with all that being said, I have come up with an idea of turning some of the most, biggest, craziest stories from my past into a few different eBooks. The idea is to use these stories as a way to help me get out from underneath some of this debt that will ultimately hinder my chances if not paid off.

Now, with all that being said my question to you is…

Would you be willing to show your support and purchase an eBook for $1.99 if that purchase was to help me get my life back on track? This poll is only to give me a sense of things so please be honest.