The top 5 things that make “you suck” in prison

Can you imagine being forced to live in close proximity to almost 100 people. Folks who come from all walks of life. Every denomination. Race. View of the world. View of others…especially other races. Other hatred. Some good decent guys and some guys you will loath and despise. Some you will like. Some you will most certainly want to fight. All mixed together in a Petri dish type of living environment?

Can you imagine this for just a second…?

Well everyday this is my reality…

Though there are some decent people here, most are not at all decent for one reason or another. And this is not me judging either. This is my simply stating the obvious.

This is prison after all. And though all of us have done whatever it is we have done that has landed us here, some people just really fit the criteria more than others. This I believe is what makes prisoners so unappealing to those in the free world or give guys like us such a bad rap.

With so much that can be thought of out there by people in the free world about people such as myself in here, it is easy to understand while prisoners are so unappealing.

But here is something even more…

What follows is what I have compiled as the top 5 things that make prisoners unappealing to OTHER prisoners.

The top 5 things that make YOU SUCK in prison…

All of these things matter dramatically in the grand scheme of things in prison especially when it comes to where you rank in prison life and stature how you’re viewed by the rest of the prison population.

So…. Read these things and observe this viable information because hey, you never know right?

Hopefully you never need to know…

I will bring you these top 5 things one at a time starting with 5 and working my way down to 1. Number 1 being the worst of course.

5. Being gay… ugh yes unfortunately this ranks as the top 5 things that make you suck in prison. And let’s not think of the literal meaning of that!

Sorry. I just threw up in my mouth a little.

It’s not hard to imagine that while in prison, you definitely don’t want to be hanging out with the guys who are batting for the other team. Unless, that is you don’t mind holding their bats, I guess.

Blah. Sorry. Again. The throw up thing.

If you are a complete straight arrow here, then gay is something you must avoid at all cost- in prison.

I know this sounds harsh and mean. But believe you me. Being gay or being known as someone who hangs around the gays is something that can totally isolate you or have you fitting in the “you suck” category.


People will avoid you like you have the bubonic plague.

Why is being gay in prison such a big deal? Well they gay guys in prison are fucking annoying. They are nosey flamboyant irritations to put it mildly. They walk around with their colored pencil makeup kits and their disgusting outfits thinking what? That they look CUTE!?!

Yeah right. Then comes their names. And what’s not to love about those. With grown men acting like total bitches calling themselves things like Mercedes, Lexis, Peaches, Delicious…

Some of these gay guys look like fucking linebackers to boot.

I guess you haven’t lived though until you have been in prison with a 6”7 dude who looks like he should wrestle in the WWE and calls himself “delicious”.

 All of these things put together are why being gay tops out as number 5 on this list.


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