An awkward situation

One day I was getting ready to paint on this door when this CO ran up to me and said, “Excuse me sir. What do you think you’re about to do?”

“I’m about to paint a sign on this door.” I responded.

“On THIS door?” He question.

“Who gave you permission to PAINT on this door?”

I had been waiting for some time now to use what came next… 

“Your boss.” I said. “You know… the top dog around here.”

“The guy who signs your paycheck.”

Perplexed, the CO said, “that IS my boss.”

By this point I was able to see that this guy was only fucking around. It just took me a minute to realize this because this guy had a really dry sense of humor that was not easy to read.

And if it wasn’t easy for me to read, then it was absolutely impossible for some of the other prisoners who I had no choice but to witness this guy interact with.

A few different prisoners had to pass this officer in order to get wherever it was they were trying to go.

Maybe the Barbour shop…

Or the library…

Or even the psychologist.

And lord help them if they didn’t have a “pass” to get wherever they were going.

“Excuse me, sir.” He would say to a prisoner probably not to hip to this officer’s bland sense of humor.  “Where do you think you’re going?”

The prisoner would respond with wherever it was they were headed.

Then the officer would say, “Well do you have a pass.”

“You don’t.” He would continue.

“Sir you’re in violation of rule number (whatever). Do you know I can lock you up right now for being in an unauthorized area? How did you even get out of your housing unit?”

In the end, the prisoner would be let off easy with just a “warning” and they would be forced to head back to their housing unit in a sense of defeat.

This probably happen three times while I was there simply trying to paint a sign on a door. All the while the officer found immense joy in his patronizing bullshit. That was however, until he tried to confront this one guy…

Fast forward past the part where this prisoner said he had no pass and was simply trying to see the psychologist.

Right past the part where the officer offered up his idle threat about locking this guy up.

This prisoner was not fazed by the officer’s comment, nor did he pick up on this officer’s strange sense of humor.

Instead, this prisoner was probably having a horrible day already and this officers bullshit was about as much as he could take.

I was able to reach this conclusion due to what this guy said next. Straight faced this guy looked at the officer and said, “Who the fuck do you think you’re talking too.”

“I’m not going ANYWHERE!”

I’m sure this officer was completely unprepared for someone to challenge his authority on this day. This was evident by the tracking of his voice as he was then forced to stand his ground.

“Sir, I’m going to have to a-ask that you p-please return back to your housing unit.”

“Tell you what”, the prisoner said. “There is a lieutenant right outside. Let’s go see what he says.”

And just that quickly the two disappeared.

While they were gone, I couldn’t help but think what the hell would happen if this prisoner decided to take this altercation to the next level…

What if this 250+ giant country prisoner decided he was gonna beat up this office?

Would I have been forced to intervene?

Would I have had to rescue this puny little officer dipshit?

The officer soon returned without the prisoner. Who knows what happen while they were away…  But I felt I had to offer up my two cents on the matter anyways.

“Dude…” I said. “You really need to work on your people skills.”

“I’m not trying to be a hero today.”


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