I just recently got back in touch with an old friend who I had known for years, but hadn’t talked with in quite a few years either.
Josh was my best friend, maybe even more than that. Brother like, from the time I was 18 to 25.
We went through many good time and many bad times together. But like I just recently told him the good times exceeded the bad.
We had a pretty bad falling out back when we were both younger. A falling out that was pretty much completely caused by the lies and manipulations from some chick I was dating at the time. But everything happens for a reason right? I mean, I got a ton of stories I could tell you about, all the hell me and Josh raised together.
Me and my big as jacked up truck is just a small example… barely even scratching the surface. Oh, and by the way, yes.
Josh was right there along for that adventure and many MANY more.
But just as there are many stories I could tell you about me and Josh together, I could tell quite a few from a time in my life I refer to as the-post-Josh-era…
After the fall out.
Those stories are just as crazy too. And I am sure to tell a few from time to time. The point here I that after everything, it is crazy how two complete maniacs can go through so much, lose contact for years, and then reunite and find out we are both on the same page.
Only this time, it is a much different page.
A page that is all about changing our lives for the better.
Josh certainly has done a lot more than me in that regards.
Being as I am incarcerated and he is free… but I think we are both now mentally at a place in life where we realize that nothing changes if nothing changes.
What a great accomplishment just that alone is! I mean forget the fact that my best friend, my brother-Josh has vowed to put down alcohol for good, especially how after alcoholism has plagued his life.
Now he has realized how great it can be to just enjoy life without some addiction or disease dragging him down every step of the way.
And don’t even mention that he wants to do all he can for his kid and his family too! He is out there with a GREAT job…handling business on his grown man shit.
Without even mentioning ANY of that, just the recognition and change will only happen if you make it happen is the greatest of all these things.
Because first Josh had to reach the point where that revelation about where changed occurred before he could even think about TRYING to changed his life for the better.
Want to know something?
I’m at that point too. I have been there for over 5 years now. And though I have been incarcerated this entire time, I too have been busting my ass to change my life for the better.
Through the little shit I have had published…
Through the sales I have made through my art…
All of these things are nothing really in comparison to the grander scope of things… all that I hope and strive to accomplish.
It is that which keeps me driven.
How crazy is it that two complete mad men like Josh and I could fall apart, both separately spiraling towards utter devastation. Only to be reunited.
Both seeming to have reached the exact same destination in realization.
We are both now in a point in life where change is the only option. Because if change doesn’t occur then we run the risk of ending up just like another old friend of ours.
“Just the letter D”.
Bad off on drugs to the point he tried to steal some shit out of a home improvement store only to be confronted by security and ended up pulling a knife out. Now he is in jail facing robbery and a whole list of other charges.
Or even worse, like another old friend of ours who also was bad off on drugs, and had a bunch of outstanding warrants.
The police came to serve those warrants on him, surrounded his house, and instead of being arrested, he shot himself in the head.
This just happen last week, too!
So many people we know say they would rather die than go back to jail or prison.
This is one sad case where that individual kept his end of the barging.
And isn’t that about as cut and dry as it gets! Especially for Josh and me, two guys who have made a lifestyle out of crime and crazy living.
The only alternative to change, for us is death. And the hell with that! I still have a lot of living I want to do.
Josh does too.
Rest in peace to Paul Hanbury.