The wheelchair prize fighter

Months ago, I had mentioned a wheelchair guy in a few different stories. What’s crazy is there are a few different wheelchair guys with me here at the prison. How a guy in a wheelchair could end up in prison truly baffles me. But then again I guess justice is blind even when it comes to the handicap.

Each of these wheelchair guys here at the prison are unique too. They each carry this rugged prison-isque, old school hardcorness…. I ….. this because here is where I usually joke about all this. But come on these guys are handicap for God sake!

What kind of horrible person do you think I am that I would make fun of these guys?

The jokes will come later.

This story is about one such wheelchair guys who we will call “the situation”. You know, from that TV show the Jersey shore. This guy looks a lot like the situation besides the whole not being able to use his legs.

The situation is indeed Italian which must account for why he is always acting like some old school gangster straight out of one of those Godfather movies.

This guy has the mouth of a sailor yet much worse. He will cuss a person up and down. And what’s worse? He will even attempt to fight!

Now, when I say attempt to fight, it usually goes something like this.

First, he will get in an argument with another prisoner. He will get this other prisoner so mad that it will take that guy probably something like every ounce of discipline he can muster up not to smack the shit out of a guy who has a lower body muscle structure similar to that of a gelatin snack.

The situation will see how angry he has made the other prisoner, and instead of trying to cool his jets a little he will turn the rocket boosters on full thrust.

“You trying to dance?” situation might say.

“Meet me in the bathroom you bitch.” He will continue. Then he will wheel his squeaky hovet around into the restroom and wait.

What usually happens after all this…

The other prisoner will be forced to realize that a guy in a wheelchair just isn’t worth his trouble.

You get no points for beating up a guy whose spinal cord is a lot like his mobility device.

Raggedy and virtually useless.

But every once in awhile there comes an argument with a prisoner who just isn’t going to take the shit talking from some paraplegic.

Such an incident just recently happen too.

All of this was related to the after fact but I guess what happen was the situation got into an argument with a guy who had finally reached his breaking point.

This other guy told hot wheels to stand up. Which come on, we all know that is not happening. Then he commenced to beating the shit out of the situation.

This guy punched him about 6 times in the face. Sort of like WHAMWHAMWHAMWHAMWHAMWHAMWHAM.

Did you get that?

I was hoping to provide you a good mental image of how it all went down.

To the situations defense, he did get in a pretty nasty face scratch.

Finger nails all down the other guys face. That’s funny too cause after the fact the other guy looks a lot worse.

The situation didn’t have a mark on him while the other guy was pretty scratched up and bleeding.  That sort of brings to mind “you should see the other guy”? Doesn’t it?

Like I said earlier, you get 0 points for trying to assault a guy in a wheelchair.

Especially when that guy in the wheelchair, has a catheter attached to his dick. And a tube connected to a piss bag. I swear every time I see that shit, I just wanna yell “BEER BONG”!

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