Solitary confinement

Solitary confinement is enough to drive any sane person insane. Everyday throughout my days here in prison, I witness all day long as prisoners are being escorted to “the hole”.  It never fails, and for whatever reason, whether it be for fighting, or cussing out staff (who very well PROBABLY deserve it), or for tattooing or being caught in position of contraband; everyday, guys here go to the hole here.

When I see this little dog and pony show taking place… two CO’s on either side of a guy who is already locked up inside of a prison, now is hand cuffed and being hauled off to a jail (of sorts) inside the prison,  I think back to all the many many times I, myself, have gone to solitary.

Most of which one way or another related to my tattooing days. Days of which are now long over.

The hole is a miserable place to be. Especially for any lengthy amount of time and especially when you are forced to spend time in solitary confinement during the holidays.

I myself have spent birthdays in the hole.

Those are some tough times to be all alone with little more than your thoughts.

There is not much to occupy your time either. If you’re lucky you might be somewhere where you are allowed books, pen and paper.

Personally, I require a little more to write with and to write on to be content.

But I have also been in many isolation units that don’t allow such things.

Some only allow a bible.

Some even take your mat from 7am-7pm. So you can’t spend your time sleeping all day. If you do decide to try and sleep all day, you will choose to do so quite uncomfortably.

The questions I posted to you came as I witnessed yet another fellow prisoner being hauled off. Surely there are some guaranteed miserable days ahead for that guy. But we all make our beds here…

The options I gave you to choose from in the poll were how a lot of guys spend their time while in the hole.

Truthfully, and also personally, I have done them all.

Especially masturbate constantly.

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Just a little food for thought to get you thinking….

 

Poll 1 Answers

A. work out…sometimes that is a hard thing to do because you a certainly not eating a lot while in “the hole”.  So energy conservation is a big thing when wanting to avoid hunger pain.

B. Masturbate constantly… but even that gets old after awhile… wait. I sound like I am talking from experience. Oh wait. I am!

C. Sleep… this is like the # 1 thing to do while in solitary. Sometimes you sleep so much you don’t even know if it is day or night. Sometimes you can only tell what part of the day it is by what trays you are brought…breakfast lunch dinner.

D. Talk to yourself… this is equal to going insane or losing your mind but it passes the time.

 

 

Poll 2 Answers

A. A magazine like Playboy…for the articles of course.

B. A celebrity gossip magazine… because what is going on with Kim and Kanye West is always important no matter where you are.

C. A news week type magazine…to keep up with what is going on in the world.

D. A travel magazine…maybe just the pictures of exotic places could provide some sort of mental escape.

E. Sports magazine… sports rule in prison and also at most men’s lives… maybe in a lot of women’s lives too.

Go Figure

Joe had a poll awhile back asking what his readers wanted to see more of on his blog. With many choosing to read more serious blogs, Joe decided to do just that. So, how is it that when he actually writes a more serious blog WordPress doesn’t even post it under any of the tags that were listed?  I hate that…it has happen a few other times as well.

So…with that said you should all go read his most recent blog he posted earlier today here on Joewriteshiswrongs “Nothing changes if nothing changes”.

That is all for now, hope everyone has a great week! 🙂 -Jen

 

Nothing changes if nothing changes

I just recently got back in touch with an old friend who I had known for years, but hadn’t talked with in quite a few years either.

Josh was my best friend, maybe even more than that. Brother like, from the time I was 18 to 25.

We went through many good time and many bad times together. But like I just recently told him the good times exceeded the bad.

We had a pretty bad falling out back when we were both younger. A falling out that was pretty much completely caused by the lies and manipulations from some chick I was dating at the time. But everything happens for a reason right? I mean, I got a ton of stories I could tell you about, all the hell me and Josh raised together.

Me and my big as jacked up truck is just a small example… barely even scratching the surface. Oh, and by the way, yes.

Josh was right there along for that adventure and many MANY more.

But just as there are many stories I could tell you about me and Josh together, I could tell quite a few from a time in my life I refer to as the-post-Josh-era…

After the fall out.

Those stories are just as crazy too. And I am sure to tell a few from time to time. The point here I that after everything, it is crazy how two complete maniacs can go through so much, lose contact for years, and then reunite and find out we are both on the same page.

Only this time, it is a much different page.

A page that is all about changing our lives for the better.

Josh certainly has done a lot more than me in that regards.

Being as I am incarcerated and he is free… but I think we are both now mentally at a place in life where we realize that nothing changes if nothing changes.

What a great accomplishment just that alone is! I mean forget the fact that my best friend, my brother-Josh has vowed to put down alcohol for good, especially how after alcoholism has plagued his life.

Now he has realized how great it can be to just enjoy life without some addiction or disease dragging him down every step of the way.

And don’t even mention that he wants to do all he can for his kid and his family too! He is out there with a GREAT job…handling business on his grown man shit.

Without even mentioning ANY of that, just the recognition and change will only happen if you make it happen is the greatest of all these things.

Because first Josh had to reach the point where that revelation about where changed occurred before he could even think about TRYING to changed his life for the better.

Want to know something?

I’m at that point too. I have been there for over 5 years now. And though I have been incarcerated this entire time, I too have been busting my ass to change my life for the better.

Through the little shit I have had published…

Through the sales I have made through my art…

Through Joewriteshiswrongs…

All of these things are nothing really in comparison to the grander scope of things… all that I hope and strive to accomplish.

It is that which keeps me driven.

How crazy is it that two complete mad men like Josh and I could fall apart, both separately spiraling towards utter devastation. Only to be reunited.

Years later.

Both seeming to have reached the exact same destination in realization.

We are both now in a point in life where change is the only option. Because if change doesn’t occur then we run the risk of ending up just like another old friend of ours.

“Just the letter D”.

Bad off on drugs to the point he tried to steal some shit out of a home improvement store only to be confronted by security and ended up pulling a knife out. Now he is in jail facing robbery and a whole list of other charges.

Or even worse, like another old friend of ours who also was bad off on drugs, and had a bunch of outstanding warrants.

The police came to serve those warrants on him, surrounded his house, and instead of being arrested, he shot himself in the head.

This just happen last week, too!

So many people we know say they would rather die than go back to jail or prison.

This is one sad case where that individual kept his end of the barging.

And isn’t that about as cut and dry as it gets! Especially for Josh and me, two guys who have made a lifestyle out of crime and crazy living.

The only alternative to change, for us is death. And the hell with that! I still have a lot of living I want to do.

Josh does too.

Rest in peace to Paul Hanbury.

Kenny is not a fighter… (Nor a very good goalie for that matter)

A lot of you might know that soccer is a big part of my life here. But a couple of days ago there was a soccer game that I had to miss because of some important phone calls I had to make.

What a game to miss too.

As I am sitting on the phone I see two different guys being escorted to medical.

One who had hurt his leg pretty bad.

The other had somehow broken his finger.

After the game is over and the rec yard closed, the guys come inside and tell me this crazy tail of what happen to my bunkie Kenny.

Kenny, is a “sometimes goalie” for us sometimes which means he very rarely ever plays soccer. But when he does, he is a goalie.

Hence the name of “sometimes goalie”.

So Kenny, who is not a fighter at all is playing goalie. In our defense helping Kenny is a guy we will call Mr. UFC.

The reason I call this other guy Mr. UFC is because that is all that this guy does daily.

He trains constantly with a bunch of other guys who know that UFC shit pretty good. The only difference is that Mr. UFC is like the baddest of them all.

And here is how it all goes down…

Someone tries to take a shot on goal and Kenny stops it. Then Kenny tries to dish the ball out to someone on the defense but someone from the other team gets to the ball first. I guess there was this moment when the ball was in a very venerable position so Kenny makes a mad scramble after it as does Mr. UFC.

What happens next?

Well these two collide, of course. But not full body on body as you might imagine. More like Kenny’s knee completely against Mr. UFC temple! More like a flying hurricane knee thrust right into the side of this guy’s head.

As it was relayed to me the impact was displayed to be sickening.

Mr. UFC the baddest street fighter on the compound was instantly knocked out by a guy who was definitely “not about that life”.

They said it took like 10 minutes for Mr. UFC to come to and regain his composure.

After he did he was still dazed and confused for some time.

Go Kenny, right?

Since all of this happened me and Meeko have been having a lot of fun at Kenny’s expense.

Kenny will get off the phone and we will say something like “Did you tell her that you had to handle a mother fucker today?”

“Like baby, just had to knock this sucker out today.”

“He was only like the baddest guy on the compound, but really it was nothing.”

Just as the one guy got no points for beating up a guy in a wheelchair, Kenny get’s no points for his accidental TKO.

Me and my big ass jacked up truck

When I was younger I had this big ass jacked up truck.

Mud tires.

Lift kit.

Lights on the roof.

It was a big ass truck.

Not really the sort of vehicle you would assume would be used to commit crimes in, but that is exactly what it was.

It all started when I was 18 years old. I had just left home, a complete problem child hardly grown into anything more than a very trouble, very destructive adolescent.

I didn’t even leave home to go anywhere in particular.

I just left.

I ended up living in this little studio apartment with like 5 or 6 other guys just like me.

Back then, we were all just a bunch of fuck ups.

All we did was party, chill with girls, and party some more.

One night me and two other guys were the last ones who were still awake and we were talking about going out to get into some shit. The conversation started with talks of going to break into soda machines but quickly escalated into going out and breaking into unlocked cars.

So that is exactly what we did.

That first night could not have gone any better. For a couple of guys who decided to embark upon what would be quite an expensive little crime wave, that first night hooked us.

We ended up with all sorts of goodies.

Nightly adventures into neighborhoods we had previously “scoped out” during daytime hours became the norm for us.

But not every night was a smooth operation or went according to plan.

Many nights’ involved police and us running from them. Oh the many many times in my life I have ran from the police and gotten away.

One night we had just finished up our assault on a neighborhood of unlocked cars. We were leaving and my big ass jacked up truck was full of stolen shit. The road we were on was long and very dark. Out of nowhere a pair of headlights appeared far off in the distance ahead of us and coming in our direction.

Why I ever said what I said next I will never know, but I said “I bet that is a cop coming towards us”.

And sure as shit it was. No sooner did he pass us he slammed on the breaks. I watched this happen in the rearview mirror and as soon as I saw him turning around I hit the gas and cut off the headlights.

My big ass truck with big ass tries and a lift kit was now booking down a back road in the middle of the night.

Pitch black.

Knowing exactly where we were, I turned into another neighborhood which I knew was a dead end. My thinking hadn’t gotten me that far ahead, though. My only thought at the time was to avoid this cop, who by now, had to be gaining on us.

The dead end was a cul-de-sac

Once I reached it, I had no idea what to do. I felt like any moment this cop might turn in and box me in.

So I did what any sane person would do in a situation such as this.

I jumped the curb in my big ass jacked up truck and drove right through some ones front yard, cutting right through their clothes line with the lights on the top of my truck.

I drove the truck around to the back of this house and positioned it so it was completely hidden by the house. Then my crime partners and I started dumping all the stolen shit.

We started running stuff and hiding it in the woods that were in the backyard behind this house. This only took a few minutes too.

The plan was simple.

Dump the stolen shit. Then get back on the road.

We could come back for everything later.

During this short amount of time the cop who had past me and slammed on the breaks to turn around; he never appeared.

Maybe I did better than I thought at evading him. But, still I expected him at any moment come weaving through that cul-de-sac.

He never did though.

When the truck was “cleaned” it was then time to get the hell out of dodge.

As we piled back into the truck, I started reaching for the keys that I had put in the big front pocket of my hoodie. But guess what?

They weren’t there.

All that running and stumbling through the woods with handfuls of stolen speakers and speaker boxes had caused me to lose them, somewhere along the way.

HOLY-SHIT

I had lost the keys to a vehicle the cops might or might not have been looking for that was now parked right up the back side of some house.

The key were somewhere in the woods… woods that were a treasure trove full of stolen goodies… AND it was like 4:30 in the morning. The sun would be coming up in less than an hour which meant people would be getting up too.

How the hell was I going to explain this to someone if they came outside questioning what was going on?

We had to find those keys.

At first, I was overcome with a sense of panic.

“FUCK!” I thought.

“The cop obviously isn’t coming, let’s just push the truck into the street!” I said franticly!

So that was the first thing we tried to do. But no sooner did we even attempt to push this big ass truck back out and around to the street, the steering wheel locked up.

FUCK!

Finding those keys was the ONLY option but we didn’t even have a flashlight. Cause we threw all of those too!

So the first objective was finding a flashlight. It took some time and a lot of searching but eventually we found one then came the even funnier part, trying to retrace my many trips through the woods.

Trying to remember everywhere I had went in an effort to stash shit.

How it happened I will never really know but somehow, miraculously, eventually, the light reflected something shiny on the ground.

The keys! Like a needle in a haystack…

We found the keys!

Again, we hopped in the truck only this time we were actually able to get the hell out of there.

We hauled ass back to the little studio apartment, woke up some other guy and made him drive us back to that house to retrieve all that we had left there.

And that was it…

I learned a valuable little life lesson that night too. Not anything like crime doesn’t pay or anything like that, at least not at that point in my life.

What I learned was simple.

If you ever find yourself in a situation where you have to hop out of a car or truck to evade the cops…just leave the damn keys alone.

The craziest chapter yet…the most unbelievable stories from my past

What I have gone through and continue to go through over the course of the last 6 years is certainly a story worth telling. Sometimes the stuff I talk about is funny “or at least I try to make it funny”.

Sometimes it’s serious.

No matter how I choose to depict whatever it is I am telling you, I try to make it as gripping and interesting as possible.

As I think about this interesting little journey I am on… being incarcerated, trying desperately to change my life for the better. I am reminded of my younger days for some reason…. All the hell I raised around 17-26 years old that inevitably always resulted in me being locked up.

See I am sort of at ends again with what I want to post here. I mean, there is a lot of stuff I want to tell all of you about. Especially in terms about what goes on inside of prison… THIS prison…

But I can’t.

I just can’t. I can’t even explain it anymore than that. At least, not right now.

I just can’t.

Have I accomplished my mission? Have I got you intrigued by all of this seriousness?

Because now I am about to intrigue you even more…

I just had an amazing revelation.

Yes there is a bunch of stuff that I could be telling you about in relation to my everyday encounters here. I will still continue to do that.

But a new day is upon us at Joewriteshiswrongs.

I’m about to start a new chapter. Yes I know ANOTHER new chapter.

I’m about to tell a few war stories.

Just a little of the crazy shit that has happen in my life in the free world that ultimately always led to my demise and ended up with me in jail or prison.

I am scum of the earth. Of no earthly good what so ever.

My entire adult life has been filled with drugs and crime. And I am not trying to glorify all that I have done either.

I’m a big believer in Karma.

What goes around comes around. And believe me. I have seen more than my share of bad times and punishment for the errors of my past.

But this is Joewriteshiswrongs isn’t it? So why not do just that, write-my-wrongs.

Oh and believe me, not only will you be entertained by all this craziness I have somehow lived these 31 years to tell you about, you will be hanging on the edge of your seat because it is ALL that damn unbelievable. But no matter how unbelievable it may seem, it is all true and it is all part of the story that is me and my crazy ass life.

And remember this is only a small glimpse into my past. I certainly won’t be telling every one of the many crazy ass stories from my past. Most of that must be kept for my best seller that is sure to come soon. Still you will see enough that will certainly make you want to read that book.

So are you ready?

Unbuckle your seatbelt as we travel back in time. Because all I did back then was break the law…

The madness begins tomorrow.

I am a total tool

Yesterday was me and Jen’s 1 year anniversary. For those of you who don’t know, Jen is the only reason I am so fucking awesome! She is the other half of me and the sole reason any of this is even possible in the first place.

Jen was the first person to really give me a chance to prove myself, even from prison it was during that time that our relationship really began.

She was also the first person who believed in all I hoped to achieve form here.

It is because of her that I have done all that I have in the last year. A whole hell of a lot more than I had done on my own in the 4 ½ years prior to me meeting her, might I add.

But don’t get me wrong, I had done a lot before meeting her too. I got published in a book, a couple of my cartoons were published in magazines as well. Just to name a few things here…

But who is keeping score, right?

Thanks to Jen, though. She is pretty freaking amazing. Together we have been through a lot and she has stuck by my side through every little bit of the past year. I am absolutely convinced that there is no limit to what this woman would do for me. It’s kind of a scary thing too. Now that I think about it.

To say that Jen rides for me, holds me down, and is there for me every step of the way is like saying the ocean has water in it.

That is like the very least you could say.

With her help, I have been able to create at least the very minuscule spark in the budding “brand” for my art and my super fucking amazing writing ability.

Ugh oh. What’s that?

Oh. Yes. I do sort of think of myself as an awesome writer thank you very much. Though, I’m sure it doesn’t always come through that way here.

I really believe there are great things in store for Jen and I in the future. Especially once we are able to say that this time spent with me incarcerated is just a thing of the past.

But for the moment it has been one hell of a first year. I look forward to many more to come. I mean being with Jen.

Definitely not many more years of me being in prison!