There’s a lot of “gay guys” here in prison, they do a lot of crazy shit here, too. I mean, far beyond occasional total devastation of each others “hind parts” and going a few rounds with the “brown eye” speed bag, like a boxer in the gym. Yeah…how’s that for description?
Well, the other day I saw something funny as hell. I explained it to my buddy “Shelton” like this:
Have you ever seen “The Notebook?” I asked.
What!?! Shelton snapped. “God, No!”
“Well, you know what it is about right?” I continued to question.
“Um, I guess” he responded while probably wondering if I had somehow converted to “Gaydeeism.”
I told Shelton how I was pretty sure the movie was a love story about some douchebag loses contact with some chick, then writes her a bunch of love letters over a long period frame and also builds this chick a house. A house he builds for some random chick he’s not sure he’ll ever see again.
The point being some guy built a house for some chick he loved.
Oh…and I confess too, as much as it pains me to say this and with as many “man-points” as I know I’m losing by saying so…
I’ve seen “The Notebook.”
“Have you been to the art room, lately?” I asked Shelton, sadly the art room here has a really “bad-rap”. It’s a known hang-out for the “hetero-ally impaired.”
The gay guys!
This sucks for artists like myself who are ABSOLUTELY-100%-WITHOUT A DOUBT…NOT GAY. We’re the guys who utilize the art room for it’s intended purpose. Not hand jobs under the table. We also catch major “flak” from all our other “straight” buddies who say shit like “oh, you’re going to the art room, Joe. Make sure you take the pink ribbon out of your hair before you come back.”
Shelton told me he had not been to the art room lately.
“Well you should definitely go check it out.” I said.
“Why?” He asked.
“Because one of the gay guys built a giant life sized cardboard house” I said, “It’s even got a roof and windows, it’s even been painted!”
This got no reaction from Shelton.
So, I continued.
“Don’t you get it?” I asked, hoping he would see where I was going with all of this.
“One of the gay guys built a house for his lover!! So it’s like the movie ‘The Notebook…’ only the “gay” person version.”
“You’re an idiot” Shelton said, then walked off.