First and foremost, shout out to those visiting here from voat.co and reddit.com. Thanks for taking the time to check this out… I hope this story lives up to the hype..! And also please check out the video at the end of this… You’ll see content I was creating two years ago and while in prison with this post, and content that I’m creating now that I’m free again after 7 years through the video. Please comment and let me know your thoughts…! Thanks..!
So here is a follow-up to the chair sex story, and a great example of how that can go horribly wrong!
If you’re wondering what the hell chair sex is, then you mustn’t have yet experienced all the insanity that is the original titled “chair sex.”
I would highly recommend you first check out the story before reading this one.
This past week, I was sitting in the gym going over some ideas for some upcoming murals to be painted around the prison compound, with two of the other mural painters.
As we were in the gym kicking a few different ideas around, a psychologist chick walked in followed closely by her prisoner patient.
This was nothing surprising as from time to time we’d see these psychologist chicks with their prisoner patients looking for a quiet place to have a little therapy session.
But a quick note about these psychologist chicks here at the prison…
Most of them are fucking hot.
HEY! It’s just an observation; she means nothing to me…
So most of the psychologist here are chicks fresh out of college and look as if they may have appeared in a Girls Gone Wild video.
If you let “inmate dot com” tell it… “Oh, she used to do porn. She likes gang bangs and being choked…”
But sometimes even I, he who has seen and heard it all, must shake my head at the utter stupidity of some of these SILLY-ASS mother fuckers I am surrounded by.
Psychologist chick came into the gym with her prisoner patient and he looked like he had just won the lottery.
These prisoner patient guys…they’re always fun.
You’ll see them from time to time with one of these psychologist chicks and they’ll always throw you some super cool and aloof heads up nod like “yeah dude…look what I bagged.” When in all actuality, these guys have more mental issues than “Jodi Arias” and are 2.5 seconds away from balling their fucking eyes out while spilling their guts out to some Kate Upton looking chick.
“You got it, dude.” I’d always nod in return. “You’re the man.”
This therapy session in particular took place in the back corner of the gym. Just far enough to be almost out of earshot, but still close enough for Kate Upton to be rescued if ever one of her “head cases” ever thought she started to resemble his ex wife that had pushed him too far over the breaking point.
The session lasted for quite some time.
Every so often, laughing and crying could be heard throughout it.
Screams for mommy.
Then it was over.
Psych chick and angry man left the gym. But of course, not before her patient who was quickly trying to reestablish his DIGNITY (and while wiping tears) threw me another one of those “dumbass” head nods.
After they left, all that remained of their visit were 2 empty chairs they had sat in.
It’s sort of a funny thing about the chairs that female staff sits in…
They’re almost relatable to “bread and seagulls.”
The chair represents the bread.
The prisoners here, the seagulls.
Have you ever thrown bread, and then watched as a bunch of seagulls appeared virtually out from nowhere?
It’s kind of the same principle.
Some chick will get up from her seat, and then “lurkers” appear.
“Virtually out from nowhere”
No one wants to be the first to “sniff” the chair that might still be warm from the ass of some chick who had just sat in it. But best BELIEVE, someone, some lowly life form of a prisoner IS going to SNIFF that chair.
That is exactly what we were dealing with after the therapy session.
Me and my mural painter buddies watched in amazement as the lurker seagull-type prisoner began hovering around the chair.
Kate Upton had been gone for maybe 2 minutes.
One seagull prisoner looked especially hungry for some chair sniffing, action, too.
“Which chair was she sitting in?” He questioned with a disturbing look in his eyes.
“That one, right there.” I said. “Why?”
Before I had even finished speaking, this guy had the chair in his face completely.
He inhaled so deeply, it was as if he had almost DROWNED before sniffing the chair.
He gasped for breath like he has just surfaced from thirty feet below water.
“It smells sooo good!” He roughly explained.
Every time I witness something like this (yes, surprisingly I have seen this a few times since the original story was told) I’m utterly amazed by the lowliness some prisoners will stoop to for a sort of sick twisted sexual gratification.
But there was something that made this time, at least a little better.
A little more dignifying.
Well, at least for me, that is.
When the guy asked me what chair the chick had been sitting in…..
I told him the wrong one.
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